
For the first time, I entered the year as a married woman, so naturally, my goals have expanded to include my husband and ways we can grow together. There are many things I want to accomplish, but I don’t want to overwhelm myself or us with everything at one time. In my opinion, you don’t have to compromise one goal for another, but you do need to be mindful about how you are devoting your energy. According to a study by the University of Scranton, only 8% of people will achieve their New Year’s resolutions. So how do we keep ourselves on track? Especially when the first year of marriage can be the hardest.
Start with action. Instead of putting too much pressure on ourselves to have our goals figured out on the first day of the month, we gave each other the week to write our initial thoughts before sharing them. Our action plans are composed of four categories:
- Personal
- Professional
- Relationship
- Family
These categories help us take big ideas and break them into bitesize goals. We purposely listed them in this order, making ourselves the priority. A happy relationship exists when there are two fulfilled people. When partners are happy, it shows up in how they approach adversity, decision-making, and even parenting. Think of it as the trickle-down effect of fulfillment. Feeling good about yourself and the work that you do promotes confidence that is attractive to your spouse.
Our personal goals for each other included more outward acknowledgment and appreciation for things we take for granted, bi-weekly dates, and shared health goals. Our family goals were to set movie and game nights, no cell phones at the dinner table, and weekend getaways every quarter.
10 New Year’s Resolutions for Couples
- Do something new every month.
- Work on healthy communication.
- Institute a weekly/bi-weekly date night.
- Serve as accountability partners.
- Read a book together.
- Break a bad habit together.
- Increase playing together.
- Build/strengthen your spiritual foundation.
- Make sex a priority!
- Pick a topic to increase your knowledge.
The topic does not matter. From financial literacy to the perfect wine pairings with food, pick a subject that excites and inspires you, then commit to it.Once you agree to the resolutions, sign, and date the document to show ownership and full participation. We put our action plan on the fridge, so we could see our goals and not lose sight of them. Find a spot that works for you both, and hang your goals there. The point of this entire exercise is to bring you closer together. At any time, your goals can change, and you both have to adapt to make space for a new possibility. Let love lead.
Make pasta or go rock climbing. It does not matter what you choose to do, as long as you do it together.
Good relationships have excellent communication. Before criticizing your partner, think about the usefulness of the comment and if there is a better way to relay the message.
Date nights are fun. Have more fun.
Help each other stay committed to your goals. It builds trust and strengthens communication.
Did you know reading a book together could reduce stress? All the more reason to cozy up on the couch with a page-turning novel.
We all have our thing that irritates other people. Do less of it.
Adults who play together, stay together.
Keeping God at the center of your relationship promotes unity. You cannot handle everything together and need a higher power to guide you.
Sex is an essential part of any relationship. During sex, your body releases endorphins and oxytocin, and these feel-good hormones create feelings of relaxation and intimacy.
JOIN THE CONVERSATION