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 “Birthing Bare” Author Ashley-Nicole Grosse Wants Black Women to Have the Birthing Experience They Deserve 
by Black Love Team
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October 23, 2024

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 “Birthing Bare” Author Ashley-Nicole Grosse Wants Black Women to Have the Birthing Experience They Deserve 

Ashley-Nicole Grosse wants you to know that you are not alone in your birthing journey.

“Birthing Bare” Author Ashley-Nicole Grosse Wants Black WomenThe entertainment producer, who has produced events for celebs like Diana Ross, Whitney Houston, Beyoncé, and Jay-Z, is taking on the role of author and birthing advocate with the release of her new book, “Birthing Bare.” After welcoming four children naturally in what she calls her “biggest production” yet, Ashley-Nicole is now on a mission to empower women to birth naturally without marginalization or minimization.

“Birthing Bare | Homebirth: Why Every Woman Needs to Consider It,” available to purchase now on Hallmark’s Mahogany, walks mothers-to-be through homebirth, natural hospital birth, and creating your very own birth plan that brings you peace, calm, and joy. It’s a cause that is particularly close to Ashley-Nicole’s heart as she welcomed three children at home and one child at the hospital in a natural water birth. The mother of four so deeply believes in this cause that she created a birthing app, Tahda Baby, that connects families with culturally sensitive practitioners, in addition to the book.

“I’m like, we need something that the doulas can put in their hands to give to their clients. That mom can read on her own to feel empowered, if she doesn’t have a doula. That’s what this book is,” Ashley-Nicole says. “It’s a positive reinforcement to tell you that having a baby isn’t magical. We’ve been doing it for centuries naturally, and you can do it too.”

Black Love sat down to chat with Ashley-Nicole about “Birthing Bare,” advocating for Black mothers, the beauty of natural birth, and how her own mother’s prayer completely changed her family’s life.

Black Love: Why did you want to write this book?

“Birthing Bare” Author Ashley-Nicole Grosse Wants Black WomenAshley-Nicole Grosse: I think I’ll make it a little personal here. [Black Love co-founder] Codie [Elaine Oliver] has been a dear friend of mine for 15, 16 years. After I had my first son — and she’ll tell you this herself — I was the only person she knew that had had a successful natural birth. She didn’t know anyone else in our inner proximity who had had a birth outside of the hospital, and naturally. And so, after my first son, I kind of became the telephone for people. I was playing a telephone game with people I didn’t even know, but it was important to me that they had the information. That they were connected with the right people like [midwife] Kim Durdin [and] really prominent people in the Black birthing community.

I started getting DMs from people who I didn’t know how they got my information, and I’m a pretty private person. So after that, I realized that if people couldn’t get in contact with me, they still needed the information—especially the information from me, where I’ve birthed four babies naturally. When you see something, you can believe it.

BL: Each of your children’s births were a little different. Can you speak to your personal experience and why you continuously made the choice to deliver naturally for each child?

AN: Well, I did have three home births. I had one natural birth in the hospital because I wanted to really have some authority in the space to be able to tell both sides of how you can have a natural birth in the hospital and a natural birth at home. My fourth was intentionally in the hospital, but the other three, I didn’t really trust the hospital. I didn’t have great experiences with doctors. I always felt like they didn’t believe me for some reason.

“Birthing Bare” Author Ashley-Nicole Grosse Wants Black WomenHaving a great partner—my husband, he’s just phenomenal. He’s like, “We’re going to do it this way.” And I’m like, “That’s the way I really want to do it.” So he supported me throughout all of the births. The first birth, like I said, I had a doula. But ultimately, he [my husband] became my doula for my second, my third, and my fourth. Now my fourth, I had a postpartum doula, which really helped with wrapping my body, bathing me properly, and making sure I was taking the time I needed.

Oftentimes, as Black women and Black families, it’s like, “Alright, you did that. Hurry up, get back to work.” We don’t allow ourselves the time to heal with anything. That may be our superpower, but it’s a double-edged sword. We have to know when to use it and when to sit down. I think that this book really helps people, if they’re thinking about this option. It helps them navigate the choices. Not only is it about home birth, but it’s about how you can have a successful natural birth.

We also have a birth plan [in the book] that I’ve used for my three babies; birth plans that I’ve given out to people. It provides [guidance on] how to deal with your postpartum, what vitamins you should take, what herbs you can take to help you. I hadn’t found a cohesive book, and this may sound a little biased, but I looked all over for it and it wasn’t representative of me. I’m like, I need something that the doulas can put in their hands to give to their clients. That mom can read on her own to feel empowered, if she doesn’t have a doula. That’s what this book is. It’s a positive reinforcement to tell you that having a baby isn’t magical. We’ve been doing it for centuries naturally, and you can do it too.

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BL: Do you recommend the book for partners of birthing people? What can partners get from this book?

AN: I really appreciate you asking that question because our partners are such an important part of our process. We’re housing something and creating something that they helped [create], and so they should have some say in this. The beautiful thing about my book is that my husband wrote the foreword, and it’s a beautiful foreword. He is mentioned in the book multiple times along my journey.

“Birthing Bare” Author Ashley-Nicole Grosse Wants Black WomenIt’s [the book] great for any partner, whether you’re in a same-sex partnership or a heterosexual partnership. It shows how the partner can be of assistance and value. There’s some key advice to partners about how to help the pregnant person birth and how to help them through their pregnancy despite the hormonal changes. I definitely think this is a book for you and your partner to read. I definitely think this is a book for you and your partner to read. Not only will it help give you some perspective on the current situation, but I made sure that I went into some of our ancestral traits as well, like what Black women and women of color have come from.

BL: There are a lot of statistics about Black maternal health; how we’re more likely to die in childbirth or have complications is an alarming statistic. How does the book speak to Black women with nerves around home birth versus hospital birth?

AN: The book is a portion of what I am in this space. I also have a software application called Tahda Baby. It connects families with culturally conscious birth and fertility specialists for free. When I wrote the book, I realized it’s not just experience we need—here’s my experience, and you can do it too—but we also need the resources.

I think it’s important to connect with culturally conscious providers, which my platform does. Both circumstances—home birth and natural birth in the hospital—I was very strategic about who I picked, and I was vocal about what I wanted. I want to tell every listener that you have that right. You have the right to say no, and to say if something doesn’t fit.

I had a child who didn’t breathe [after birth]. My second son; it’s part of his birth story. His name reflects that. [The book] shows you how to overcome those challenges and how picking a team can be the difference in making it a positive experience for you. The first thing to do is to find a professional that fits you. If you don’t feel like you can advocate for yourself with your doctor, just remember you’re advocating for your child and that puts on a whole different cloak.

“Birthing Bare” Author Ashley-Nicole Grosse Wants Black WomenBL: What do you want Black women specifically to take away from this book when they put it down? How do you want them to feel?

AN: I want them to feel like they have a sister in this journey. I want them to think of me as a sister. If you do think of me as a sister, then if your sister did it, so can you. I want them to know that the power of positivity and focused thinking is underrated and that if they want it, they can do it. If they plan for it, they’ll be successful at it.

BL: How did you find the space to write this book with such a busy life?

AN: I’m a wife to an amazing man, and our husbands and our partners have needs. I’m a mother and my children have needs. I am a daughter, and my mother and my father have needs. But all the needs they have, they fulfill mine. My husband fulfills my needs, my kids fulfill my needs, my mom fulfills my needs.

I think having a community around you that understands your purpose and your alignment, the seas will part. I started it right after I gave birth [to my third child]. It took me about six to seven months to write because I didn’t want it to be a laborious read. I wanted it to be quick-paced, filled with nuggets. I’m a quote person, and you’ll see a lot of quotes in the book.

I used talk-to-text, then text, then edited it four times. That’s a lot for me because I’m a stickler on getting it the first two or three times because I don’t have a lot of time. I’m just thankful that my family provided that space for me to create this book because I’m not creating it for myself. If someone can’t afford it, I don’t want finances to be a barrier to information.

BL: Speaking about family, how did your mother respond to your choice for home birth?

AN: I’m from Louisiana, raised by a Southern Black mom and father. My first child, I had to really have some hard conversations with her. They were all met with love, but they were really impactful. I led with love, but I told her, “Mom, listen. I really want you to be here, but if you’re not trusting what I’m doing, I cannot have that in the space because it’s already difficult for me to trust myself. I am taking the leap here with God because I know people in my lineage have done it before and I;m made up of the same fabric that they are. But I need you to believe.”

After that [conversation], she wanted to be present for every single [birth]. I’ll tell you a little secret [I shared] in the book. Like I said, one of my children was born not breathing. At that moment, I said, ‘Mom, I just need you to pray.’ She was there [for the birth]; she flew in from Louisiana to California. She prayed and it brought him to life. Now she’s running around telling people, ‘This is magnificent. I don’t know why I wasn’t given the opportunity to have this type of birth.’ It was a 180-degree turn for her. The beauty is that we can learn from anyone. I think she’s become the biggest supporter of me in this book and this journey that I could ever ask for.

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