“From what he later expressed to us, you reach a zenith of feeling uncomfortable about something… You’re like, ‘What is this energy? What is this feeling going on inside of me?’” Dahn shared. It was during this time that Zion began researching and talking to friends, eventually coming to understand his identity. “So by the time he led us into what he had discovered about himself, he had a lot of things to reference for us to read and catch up on.”
At 13 years old, Dahn describes Zion as “letting us in” rather than him “coming out” as transgender. Dahn, who appeared with her husband, Alimi, on season six of the docuseries Black Love, recalled the moment vividly: “I could see it, just sitting in a hotel room, the two boys sitting in front of us, and Zi letting us in. I remember feeling like, ‘Huh.’ First of all, I didn’t have trans vocabulary. I didn’t even know what transgender was. So I was kind of like, ‘Okay.’”
While Dahn’s love for her child was never in question, the news was initially overwhelming. “I broke down twice. That [first time] was a real breakdown. That breakdown was, ‘I didn’t see this coming.’ I’m paying a lot of attention to my babies, and I missed this,” the mother of two admitted. “I was ready to have a queer child… but I was like, wow, whoa, whoa. I didn’t have anything for where this was.”
Dahn also reflected on how societal norms had shaped her expectations of her child before their transition. “I didn’t have this femme-presenting child ever,” she said. “So me, this Southern girl from Georgia, was like, ‘Why don’t you keep your legs together? Why can’t you be in your dress?’ I was trying to make a lady out of my child, and it was creating odds with us.”
The hardest part, Dahn said, was letting go of the vision she had for her child’s life. “I love being a woman. I love girlfriends. I was letting go of all the pictures I had ever put together for this life of my daughter.”
Despite her initial struggles, Dahn made a conscious decision to support Zion unconditionally. “What would love do right now? Love would call him the name he wants to be called, use his pronouns, and move heaven and earth to make sure he knows he’s a child of God,” she said. “I didn’t need him to have all the answers at 13. I just needed to walk with him each step of what he knew right then.”
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Dahn’s journey is a reminder of the importance of parental support for trans youth, who face disproportionate challenges. According to The Trevor Project, more than 50% of transgender and nonbinary youth seriously consider suicide. However, research shows that affirming families significantly reduce these risks, highlighting the impact of love and acceptance.
Dahn acknowledges the fears many parents feel when raising LGBTQ+ children. “Let your pictures go,” she advised. “It seems to be a bigger thing with people when they’re dealing with a child that could be in the queer community. They think, ‘How is this going to look? What is going to happen? What are people going to think? Are they going to be safe?’ But if they’re safe in your house, you help build a human who knows how to deal with the outside world.”
You can watch the full episode of The Mama’s Den featuring Dahn Ballard on Black Love’s YouTube channel or listen on your favorite podcast platform. For parents and allies alike, her story is a moving example of what it means to truly show up for your child.
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