From Loss to Love: How My Man and I Found Peace Together
by Regina Lawless
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July 16, 2024

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From Loss to Love: How My Man and I Found Peace Together

Jeff and Gina (Credit: Regina Lawless)

When you meet Jeff and I, or watch one of our YouTube videos, our bond is evident. So much so that it is not uncommon for someone to stop us on the street to tell us how cute we are together or how they enjoy seeing us interact as a couple. What may seem like the honeymoon phase to onlookers, is our everyday interactions of affirmations, inside jokes and affectionate touch.

On most weekends, you can find Jeff and I anywhere there is live music, or relaxing with our dog by the Lake, or trying out a new Bay Area restaurant. No matter the location, you will most likely find us together, enjoying each other’s company.  

Watching us together, we seem inseparable. And in many ways, we are. As a couple, we’ve been together for two and a half years, share a home together in Oakland, are creative partners running our YouTube travel channel “Baecation Connect” together, and support each other in running our respective businesses day-to-day.

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But what began as a whirlwind romance may never have happened without tragic circumstances. Before meeting Jeff, I was an executive at Instagram who was married to my partner of 21 years who died unexpectedly from a heart attack in May 2021. Suddenly, I was a 40-year-old widowed single mother to a teenage son who had no idea how to pick up the shattered pieces of my life. 

Credit: Regina Lawless

Jeff, who goes by the stage name “J Toney” and is a music artist and drone pilot, had also experienced a loss and was going through a rough patch in his life. After finding early success in the music industry as part of the pioneering Bay Area Rap Duo, Side 2 Syde, a series of personal setbacks almost led him to abandon his first love, music.  

Given our personal struggles, a relationship was the furthest thing from our minds. Neither of us were expecting to find someone new on the night we met. In fact, we were both reluctant to go out that night. But somehow, we ended up at the same bar, hanging out with friends. One of my friends had just started dating a guy she met online, who happened to be Jeff’s friend who invited him to tag along. After some small talk at the bar, Jeff and I ended up seated next to each other in the backseat of my friend’s car. During our brief car ride, we locked eyes and an undeniable spark ignited between us. 

As powerful as this encounter was, I may have overlooked that spark if I hadn’t been in the right frame of mind. In the weeks leading up to this outing, I had been talking to my therapist about feeling lonely without the companionship of my friend and partner of 21 years. I told her I might be open to meeting someone new, but then instantly felt guilt, as if the mere thought of being with someone else was wrong. I even worried what others might think of me dating again so soon. 

Then my therapist asked me, “what would Al [my late husband] want for you?” With tears streaming down my face, I told her that he would want me to be happy again. And with that in mind, as I was getting dressed to go out the night that Jeff and I met, I said aloud to the universe, “I am open to whatever happens tonight.” 

A mere three months after that chance encounter, Jeff and I took a leap of faith and went on a romantic getaway together to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. And over the next 12 months, trips to St. Thomas, Maui and Negril, Jamaica led to unforgettable adventures and the time and space to fall deeper in love. After our first trip to Mexico, we came up with the idea of starting a travel channel, Baecation Connect, to document and reflect back on our incredible love story and to inspire other couples to fall in love all over again. 

After spending much of 2022 traveling together, we’ve spent the last year focused on our creative pursuits. Taking the powerful lessons I learned through grief and healing, I authored my first book titled “Do You.” The book, which was published by Fast Company Press in February 2024,  outlines the rise of my career and my journey to rebuild my life after loss, and find love again — including all the tea on how Jeff and I met. 

Credit: Regina Lawless

Jeff has been busy as well, writing and recording his new album, “The Testament.” He is so proud of his latest body of work which fuses his art for storytelling and passionate delivery with soulful melodies, rooted in the streets of Oakland where he grew up. The album’s lead single “Freshah” was considered on the 66th Grammy ballot for best rap song and best melodic rap performance. The album features some special collaborations, including Chicago-based singer Rob Jones of Blackground Records and the legendary singer Mike Marshall, the original voice of the Luniz multiple platinum hit single “I Got Five On It.”

If you ask us how we’ve accomplished so much in the last year, we’d tell you it’s because of each other. “We support each other in every way,” says Jeff. We’re also wise enough to know a good thing when it comes our way. “With everything we’ve been through, we know the importance of the present moment and like to enjoy every bit of it,” adds Jeff.  

With big projects released this year, we’re looking forward to the future together and living life to the fullest — including getting married after a surprise proposal from Jeff at his album release party this past February! You can follow our journey on Instagram or through our YouTube channel, Baecation Connect.

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