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Couch Conversations, now available on the Black Love+ app, is back, and I couldn’t relate more than to the first episode! KevOnStage and his wife Melissa sat with two couples as they all discussed their experiences with marrying their high school sweetheart. Each couple told their story starting from the moment they first met, all the way up until the present day. They all touched on the pros and cons of dating their lifetime partner so young. There are some risks as well as some advantages in meeting your significant other at such a young age. Although you are given the opportunity to watch them grow into becoming the person you need them to be, disappointment and even heartbreak may occur in the process. I know this all too well, as my husband and I also met at a young age before making the step towards marriage. We became friends 16 years ago, reconnected five years ago, and have been married for 3 years. It was interesting being able to relate to each story and find comparable similarities.

Kevin and Melissa opened up the conversation by sharing their journey from meeting in high school, attending college together, and eventually getting married. They have been together for 22 years. Alana and Anthony have been together for 15 years and married for 12. Anthony recalled the first time he noticed Alana in high school. He knew from first sight that she would be his wife. Against their parent’s wishes, they secretly eloped and married at the age of 18. Jia and Elijah met while in middle school and have been together for six years and married for 3. After meeting on Myspace, they became best friends. After years of being in the friend zone and dating other people, they finally decided to take the step towards marriage.
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Like Jia and Elijah, my husband and I met on MySpace but lived in the same area. I was 16 years old, and he was older than me. Initially, we were just really good friends who talked all the time. After a few years, the attraction grew, and our relationship became physical. Although he was not my first, it felt special for me every time we were intimate. Much like Jia, I felt the connection immediately, even at my young age. To him, I was another addition to his roster of girls. It was way more than that for me. I would go through leaps and bounds just to be with him. He became the sneaky link that I secretly had feelings for. I would sneak out of the house to be with him. When I moved on to other relationships, I would still find time to see him. I could lay next to him and talk about anything. We would watch Martin and laugh and create a ton of memories. I never told him my feelings because I knew my place and didn’t want to overstep boundaries. We both had separate relationships and even went on to have children with other people. Somehow we always found our way back to each other. This last time around, the roles reversed, and he was the one falling in love with me.
After all of those years of being infatuated with him, watching him play the field, and putting me on the back burner, he had finally opened his eyes and saw me for who I was; his wife. We spent every moment together after reconnecting. It felt like he was a new man. His intentions were clear, he fulfilled every promise, he actively addressed all of my concerns and he protected my heart like no other. After six months of reconnecting, we were engaged. We married 11 months after that and had our daughter. If I had to do it all over again, I absolutely would. I now realize that meeting my husband at 16 was just the introduction to how great my life would be with him. We both required a certain level of growth and maturity before being who we needed to be. Watching each other evolve has been beautiful but painful in certain ways. Witnessing each other be in relationships with other people was hurtful, but the end result was very much rewarding.
Here are some takeaways from the episode that stuck with me:
- Try not to hold your partner accountable for mistakes they made when they were younger. One con that comes with marrying your high school sweetheart is the long file cabinet of events that may come back to haunt you during a future argument. The longer the relationship, the longer the file gets. Pulling from that file cabinet may hinder the progression in your marriage.
- Marrying your high school sweetheart gives you an advantage over any other type of relationship. You have literally grown up with your partner. You have seen them through almost all stages of their life. Building this kind of connection makes you feel like you have married your best friend.
- Although marrying too young is not ideal, marrying your high school sweetheart could work if you allow each other that space and opportunity to grow. Becoming a mature individual is essential before becoming a husband or a wife.
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