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How I Learned to Accept Life (and Marriage) Seasons
by Nikki Sylvers
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minutes

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May 1, 2019

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4 Minute Read

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How I Learned to Accept Life (and Marriage) Seasons

Courtesy of @lauren.bc

With any relationship, there are ebbs and flows. Seasons of prosperity and seasons of scarcity. Seasons of joy and seasons of sorrow. As I have navigated my relationship and marriage, there is one thing that I have come to learn: You cannot get lost in a season.

When my husband and I first got together, we were both in a season of prosperity. Both of us had amazing jobs and were making really good money. We could go out when we wanted, eat at fancy restaurants, and spend money on drinks at the club without a second thought. We were living a life of ease, and it was great.

We were living a life of ease, and it was great.

Cue to three months later where we found ourselves both unemployed and living on whatever little savings we had managed to keep during our lavish lifestyle. Fancy dinners turned into meals made from the 99-Cent store produce, and drinks at the club turned into homemade cocktails. The life we had experienced in the beginning of our relationship changed drastically, and it was hard to adjust to this new season of living.

Many times, I found myself wondering what I did to deserve these challenges, and I began to blame my husband for our misfortune. We as women are taught that a man is a provider, and while I had been with a provider at the start of our relationship, I now was with someone who was struggling to find employment. Truthfully, for my ego, that was a hard pill to swallow. I spent countless nights arguing with my husband, venting my frustrations, and battling depression over the lean season we were in. It was tough, and many times I didn’t think we would make it.

It was tough, and many times I didn’t think we would make it.

Courtesy of @danachanel2

As the months went on, I began to realize that if I focused on the season I was in that I would never be happy. In total, our season of financial instability lasted over two years, and during that time, I had to learn how to weather the storm and not allow it to dictate the state of my relationship. During our lean years, my husband still took me out on dates, surprised me with gifts, and worked tirelessly to still bring happiness into our home; however, many times I couldn’t fully enjoy his kindness because I was fixated on the lack. It took over my entire life and enveloped me in a sea of depression that I felt would never end.

Eventually, my husband sat me down and had a real “come to Jesus” conversation about how my attitude was negatively affecting our relationship. I began to realize that, while things were tough, they were not bad, and despite our financial struggles, we had a good and loving relationship that I needed to focus on and nurture. I made a decision to understand that, though a tough season may be around you, it does not have to be IN you.

I made a decision to understand that, though a tough season may be around you, it does not have to be IN you.

I now know that seasons will come, and seasons will go. Times will be easy, and times will be stressful; however, I now choose to focus on the joys within my relationship, and not the ever-changing seasons outside of it.

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