Low Sex Drive? It’s Okay; You’re Not Alone
by Dontaira Terrell



July 27, 2020


7 Minute Read


Low Sex Drive? It’s Okay; You’re Not Alone

Credit: _@tenesiaandterence

Have you ever experienced a dip in your libido? There are a variety of reasons why one experiences a decrease in their sexual appetite. But either way, there’s no need to be embarrassed or ashamed because you’re not alone in this. It’s common for both men and women to have a low sex-drive from time-to-time. 

You and your partner’s sexcapades can thrive one day and, in an instant, become a bore, more so a chore. Everyday stressors, overindulgence of alcohol, or medication side-effects could be contributing factors. Although some say “Age ain’t nothing but a number,” it can definitely play a role when it’s time to get it in with your significant other. And the worst-case scenario, it could be the result of a more severe underlying issue. 

So, the real question is, how can you and your partner get that “old thang back?” When the arousal to get in a quickie turns into annoyance, it’s time to figure out the paradigm shift of your sexual mood, turning into the blues. Here are a few things to consider.

Intimacy Intervention: Reigniting the spark to strengthen your emotional connection can be an easy fix. But only if you’re both willing to put in the work with open and honest communication paired with ways to ignite change. Keeping things spicy in the bedroom is essential for any relationship. When you’re not in-tune with each other, the spark can diminish your sex drive. So, next time, you’re feeling a disconnect from your partner, perhaps, it’s time for a weekly check-in? 

Hormonal Imbalance: Fellas, if your sexual desires have declined, low testosterone may be the case. In addition to a decreased sex drive, other indicators associated with this condition are reduced energy levels, weight gain, hair loss, tiredness, mood changes, and low ejaculation. According to Damon Davis, a urologist with Mercy Medical Center in Baltimore, approximately “30 to 40% of men over the age of 50 have low testosterone.” Luckily, a basic blood test can confirm the condition.

Keeping things spicy in the bedroom is essential for any relationship. When you’re not in-tune with each other, the spark can diminish your sex drive.

Menstrual Cycle Changes: For women, journaling the shifts in your menstruation can better prepare you for a drastic dip in your libido. Although the horniness for sex heats up around a woman’s ovulation date, the complete opposite occurs once the ovulation period is over. A lower sex drive after ovulation is a result of increased levels of the progesterone hormone, which negatively corresponds with the libido.

Credit: @tianajanine_photography

Sexual Insecurities: The best way to build a sense of comfortability with your private parts is to become more familiar with them. The more you look at and touch your own sexual organs by pleasuring and interacting with them builds a higher sense of comfort and confidence. Everyone’s genitals are different, and despite what some of us have been taught, our privates are a beautiful part of our anatomy and should be treated with care. Having a healthy relationship with all aspects of your body is essential to maintaining and sustaining a positive body image. 

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Menopause: Contrary to popular belief, menopause can begin before the age of 40, and decreased estrogen levels during this time can lower the libido. Painful sexual intercourse, vaginal dryness, and extreme fatigue are a few common symptoms. To boost your drive, try a lubricant, engage in some exciting foreplay, but more importantly, communicate with your partner to fulfill both emotional and physical intimacy. 

Limited Focus: Sex should be a mutually beneficial experience for all parties involved. If your only interest is pleasing your partner, and not yourself, then your sex drive might be lowered. It’s a disadvantage if your own wants and needs are not considered when you’re doing the deed. You and your partner should educate each other on your favorite positions, sexual fantasies, or role-play situations. So, get ready for things to get spicier during your meeting in the bedroom. 

The best way to build a sense of comfortability with your own private parts is to become more familiar with them.

Credit: @knowingtracy

You Are What You Eat: Processed foods and added sugars can drag you down in more ways than one. It’s more than a mood killer; it also heightens health risks such as stomach, intestinal, and digestive issues. Not to mention, a poor diet can create a slump in your sex drive. Adding whole foods into your daily routine not only boosts your mood, but it also has an increased effect on your libido.  

Are You Drinking Too Much? Alcohol can have varying effects. It can help create the mood, keep the party going, or serve as a buzz killer. Although new found confidence is generally on the horizon after the liquid courage kicks in, alcohol is a depressant. Dehydration of your lady parts (vaginal dryness) and an overall less than fulfilling pleasurable sexual experience could be the result. As your blood level increases, your sex drive can take a nosedive, making it much more difficult for women to reach orgasm and men to achieve an erection, which can lead to erectile dysfunction. Remember to keep it cute and keep it sexy by avoiding the overindulgence of alcohol.