
The conversation kicked off with Melanie opening up about how the podcast, and the community it provided, influenced her to become a mother of two. The singer revealed that she didn’t feel supported as a mom before joining the show.
“I always say this because The Mama’s Den has been, for me, an incredible community that I really think manifested my child, my daughter, who was waiting for me to come down,” Melanie shared. “Because when I first had my son, I didn’t feel supported. I felt very isolated and I didn’t have many friends or women who were going through the process at the same time. I think in the spirit of finding this community and creating these conversations, I think the spirit was just like, ‘You are supported. You can do this and you have who you need to do it with.’ And so, I’m just exceptionally grateful for this space every day.”
“I’m happy to say that I have new music coming out later this month and I owe that to every single person that saw me as a person and not a product,” Melanie shared. “For staying with me on this human journey so that I don’t need to have everybody’s approval or support. I just need to have the people who support me and that’s it. Once I was able to understand that, it just became so freeing. It just became so liberating. I didn’t have to be this thing for everybody. I just had to be myself and my people would find me.”
Melanie wasn’t the only host to open up during the live recording. Felicia also showed vulnerability on the panel, speaking about her struggle to find community before joining The Mama’s Den. The mother of two revealed that she was initially very guarded after growing up in a single parent household. It took her some time to open up and let others in. When she finally did, she found the sisterhood and support she had been looking for.
“My mom had three of us. There were a lot of times that we were by ourselves and we didn’t have community,” Felicia shared. “We didn’t have family, at least healthy family, to be there and support. It came a lot later in life. And so when I moved to LA and I had my two children — their father has a huge community here — I remember being so uncomfortable. I thought that because people were showing me so much love that they wanted something from me. I thought that it was BS. The thing that I had to really learn was trust. I think [trust] is the biggest lesson in terms of cultivating a community. Trusting people around you, but learning to trust myself in certain situations.”
“Even with us [The Mama’s Den hosts] at the beginning of us all coming together. I always had this hesitant spirit, but I mean that was just trauma speaking. But now I won’t shut the hell up,” Felicia added with a laugh.
Felicia’s co-host Ashley shared many of her feelings of growth. As a young mom, Ashley often felt isolated from her peers. The entrepreneur shared that she was only 24 when she welcomed her eldest daughter with her husband and that many of her friends at the time were not interested in parenting. Luckily, she learned from her own mother that sometimes you have to “create your own family and create your own community.”
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“It was also kind of lonely because when you’re the only one who has a child. Obviously, when you’re 24, your friends are like, ‘Alright girl, we’re going to the club,’” Ashley said. “It was really hard for me. They were joking backstage like, ‘girl, you created your own community.’ I had so many children, but I think I learned that from my mom. All my aunts growing up were her homegirls. I think I was probably grown when I realized we weren’t really blood related. That’s who was there to support my mother whenever she needed help. That’s who was babysitting us. I learned really early on the importance of sisterhood and creating the community that you want.”
That lesson was further reinforced when Ashley’s sister passed away in a tragic car accident at the age of 24. Ashley shared on the panel that her sister’s untimely passing taught her to seize the moment and live life to the fullest everyday.
“I think I always have this reminder that I’m older than my older sister. I think that it’s consistently my motivation to just do it and try. The last conversation we had, she was literally [like], ‘Move to New York. Go dance; do what you want to do.’ And she died the next day. I literally moved to New York a month after that and my whole entire life changed,” Ashley shared, adding that her sister is her “constant North Star.”
“I would’ve never dated my husband. He’s not black and I was like, ‘We don’t do that where I’m from.’ But he’s the most amazing [man]. I think a lot of Black people are scared to live their life the way they want to live it for fear of community, and our parents, and all of this stuff. I’m just kind of the school of, my sister died. I’m going to do whatever I want. I’m honest with myself. Every day that I have is a gift. I’m going to do all the things that I can. I’m going to love who I want to love. I’m going to live my life the way I want to live it.”
While the mamas dished on their own lives, they also made sure to shout out their listeners who have supported them and helped shape the success of the podcast. Overcome with emotion, Codie held back tears as she thanked a listener in the audience who wrote the hosts a sweet email of gratitude and praise for each individual host.
“I’m going to cry again,” Codie said. “She wrote us an email a couple weeks ago and talked about the podcast and how much she loved it. She put our name, colon, and a sweet little sentence about what each of us brings. We do all bring something different to this thing that — first off, any one of us — well, any one of them could have done alone. I wasn’t going to do it, but any one of them could have done alone. But we do all bring something special to it with our unique experiences and our unique children and our unique upbringings. I’m just — we’re grateful that people see that.”
Codie also made sure to touch on overcoming fear and pushing past imposter syndrome. The mother of three shared that she has felt scared every year she spearheaded the Black Love Summit, but has learned to push past her anxieties and trust herself and her capabilities.
“Everybody spoke to having what I will say is maybe healthy fear, right? Like we are super scared of doing something that we think is important, and then we do it anyway. It’s like, what is that thing that takes you from scared to completion, right? It may be different for everyone.”
“It made me think, even this [the Summit] is scary to me every time. To host the Black Love Summit seven times, to ask you guys to do a podcast — see, with them, the tears start to flow,” Codie added as she began to cry. “Every time it’s nerve wracking to take these steps because there’s so much that I don’t know, or that I have to learn, or that I can’t control. I think that, for me, it’s definitely letting the fear be. Not letting anxiety run things. I have to do that a lot and I think, to a certain extent, that is very healthy. I also think I could be doing more work in terms of positive affirmations, meditation, and really telling myself it’s going to be okay. Telling myself I am worthy; envisioning the positive outcome.”
As the live episode wrapped up, it was clear that The Mama’s Den hosts left a lasting impression on their audience. Their candid discussions about sisterhood, building community, and conquering fears remind us all that motherhood isn’t a journey meant to be taken alone. Leaning on one another for support, wisdom, and love is the ultimate key to thriving. Whether it’s through their shared laughs or their raw, honest moments, these mamas continue to inspire us to find strength in our communities and face life’s challenges with courage.
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