How a Car Accident Helped Strengthen Their Marriage
by Toni-Ann Craft
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September 22, 2022

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How a Car Accident Helped Strengthen Their Marriage

Charlyn & Andres “Dre” Severino

Couple: Charlyn & Andres “Dre” Severino

Location: Baltimore County, Maryland

Wedding date: April 20, 2012

Black Love: If you had to describe the state of your marriage before the accident, what would you say? Were you on good terms prior?

Charlyn: It was 2019. We had just renewed our vows in April. It was normal. We had our ups and downs just like every other couple, but at that moment, we were good. I remember him mentioning to me right before the accident that we were doing well. He was making good money at work. We were in sync and learning to understand each other more and respect each other’s boundaries. 

Black Love: Andres, walk me through the day of your accident

It was June 2nd, a Sunday. I remember that because we went to church that morning. As soon as church was over, I got a call saying that I had to come in, so I went to work — I’m in law enforcement. It was going to be a full day of work. I remember that I was supposed to get off at midnight, but I got another call that caused me to stay at work until 4 a.m. I was tired but excited because my one day off was the following day. My plan was to chill with the kids. As I was on my way home, a drunk driver had gotten into a previous accident and left his vehicle parked sideways in the middle of I-95 North. The car had no lights on and was right in the middle of the fast lane. On this particular part of I-95 North, it’s very dark since there’s no overhead lighting. 

I learned later that another off-duty officer on the scene saw the car and called it in, saying that it needed to be moved before it caused another accident. Just minutes later, I was driving down the fast lane, and by the time I noticed the parked car in front of me, I crashed right into it. The collision caused my foot to be destroyed by the engine.

That off-duty officer was the main reason I was able to get to the hospital as quickly as I did.

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BL: Wow! Charlyn, walk us through the day of the accident when you got a phone call about your husband being in an accident.

Charlyn & Andres “Dre” Severino with their children (Courtesy of The Severinos)

Charlyn: I was hired for a speaking event in Baltimore City. It was one of my most powerful speaking events –– I had a standing ovation. I was on a high, and I felt really good. Afterward, I went home to take care of the kids. I talked to him before the accident, and all was well, so I went to bed. Then at 4:30 AM, Andres called me telling me there was an accident, so he was going to be late. I thought he was helping someone in an accident, so I asked if the person was ok. That’s when he clarified that he was the one that was in an accident. He’s always been really good at de-escalating situations. At that point, I freaked out. I remember him telling me that he was ok, but he couldn’t feel his foot. Then he said he would call me back because the ambulance had just arrived. He literally had called me right after being hurt! About an hour and a half later, he called me again to tell me what hospital he was in, and I went to meet him. 

BL: What was going through your mind as you drove to the hospital?

Charlyn: I jumped in my car and subconsciously drove the route I would as if I was going to work. To get to the hospital, I didn’t have to get on the highway, but subconsciously I did. That’s the same highway that Dre got in the accident on. Suddenly I saw his car with an ambulance and police officers around it. His car was totaled. It looked like it was smashed inside out. Looking at the car alone, you wouldn’t expect the driver inside to have come out of it alive. I got chills. I remember crying and calling my cousin-in-law to pray with me. 

BL: So Dre, you’re rushed to the hospital. What happened next?

Dre: They rushed me into surgery and put rods in my foot to see what was broken. Six days later, I had a second surgery to install a plate in my foot. I remember having chills and being drenched in sweat every night. Two days later, during my follow-up appointment with the doctor, my wife explained my symptoms to him. When he unraveled my foot, he rushed me into surgery immediately. It turned out that the doctors installed a plate in my foot that had bacteria on it. I had enterobacter cloacae which, like staph, can cause death rapidly if not treated quickly. I had to have seven surgeries in 26 days. I didn’t go home until a month later.

BL: Charlyn, what were the doctors telling you during that time?

Charlyn: I remember the doctors telling me that someone with a septic infection like what he had can die in minutes. I got to the hospital and saw my husband on a bed like he was on his way out. He was in the hospital for an entire month. I was there by his side every night and during every one of his surgeries. Most of his surgeries were like five hours long. He was so brave.

Dre: I had a buddy of mine who was also an officer that did not survive his accident due to a similar septic infection. He had staph. This happened in 2015, and he died within 24 hours after finding out he had a septic infection.

Courtesy of The Severinos

Charlyn: I remember praying my heart out for my husband. We had an excellent doctor who went above and beyond for Dre. Dre being at that hospital was nothing but by the grace of God because he technically wasn’t supposed to go to the hospital that he did. Law enforcement officers were supposed to go to John Hopkins Hospital, but the ambulance made a mistake and took him to Franklin Square Hospital instead. His doctor was amazing. He was a plastic surgeon, a podiatrist, and an infection specialist all in one — literally everything Dre needed to survive! No one could have orchestrated that but God. 

Dre’s case was so unique that they were doing studies on him. He was the first one there to get a knee catheter. It was the first time they had done a procedure like that in that hospital. 

Right before Dre’s seventh surgery, the nurse came in to tell me that they did all they could do. It was like she was having a pity party to say goodbye if the surgery didn’t work the way we wanted it to. I remember praying and declaring to the nurse that my husband would be healed and that God would heal him. 

Dre: The doctors didn’t know what was causing the infection. I thank God that the enterobacter cloacae, which is what I had, is slower than a staph infection. It gave me enough time for the doctors to finally realize that they needed to remove the plate in my foot and put a new plate in. Once they did that, the bacteria was gone. After that, I went through a year of recovery to learn how to walk again. 

BL: How did this experience affect your marriage when you got home?

Dre: For me, it zapped my confidence because I’m so hands-on and used to doing everything myself. Now I was relying on everyone in the house to do everything for me. When I first came home, I stayed upstairs for three weeks. I only left if I had an appointment. There were times when I would try to force myself to do things, and I’d end up falling. It was tough to deal with.

Charlyn: I’ve never heard him say that before. Ironically, from my perspective, I earned a different level of respect for him. He was a hero in my eyes. So when he felt like less of a man, I saw him as more of a man. I just wanted to take care of him and for him to get better. That was him at his worst, and I just wanted to step up and hold him and our family down. It was a very vulnerable time for me, and I knew I needed to give him space to figure things out how he wanted to for himself.

BL: What advice do you have for couples going through a similar difficulty?

Charlyn: Number one, prayer. Prayer is the remedy that has kept me. I learned to focus on the fact that he was home instead of worrying about the challenges. When Dre got frustrated, I would separate myself, and I’m a cuddler. I like to be up under him. But I learned to give him space.

BL: What moment would you pinpoint as the darkest part of the journey for you?

Charlyn: Driving home at night after seeing him in the hospital. I remember asking myself what I would do if God took Dre. What I would tell the kids, what I would do with the house. I legitimately thought about all of that. That was the scariest for me because it was real. Normally I would think about those things because of the line of work that he is in. But to see him after numerous surgeries and the infection not going away. It made me face it and ask myself what I would do with our three kids and have to process that thought.

Dre: My darkest moment was the night before going into my seventh surgery. I called my brother to basically say goodbye. At that point, I was tired. The darkest moment was me entertaining the idea of giving up.

BL: How did you support each other during this time?

Dre: I don’t know how I supported my wife because I couldn’t do anything at the time. I wasn’t making money. Somebody could have kicked the door to our house in, and there was nothing I could have done.

Charlyn: If you asked me that question months ago, I wouldn’t have an answer, but today I have one. I would say he absolutely supported me because he was available for me. Dre was physically and emotionally available; that’s all I needed. I took care of everything else. I made sure the money came in. Whatever it was, it got taken care of. I knew it was a season. I never doubted that he could protect and provide for us. 

BL: Dre, how does it feel to hear your wife say that?

Dre: Wow, it feels good. I was so sedated, but I was there. It feels good. (Dre smiles and looks at Charlyn)

BL: What was the biggest lesson you both learned from this experience?

Dre: For me, now I know that tomorrow is not promised. People always say tomorrow’s not promised, but now I truly live it. I don’t take anyone or their situation for granted. I live as if today is my last day. So whatever I can get done today, I will get it done today. If I’m blessed enough to wake up tomorrow, I will go hard. This accident has unlocked a whole different animal in me. My foot is on the gas, and I’m never gonna hit the brakes!

Charlyn: I learned to slow down.

Dre: That’s crazy. You’re slowing down; I’m speeding up! (Charlyn and Dre both look at each other and laugh)

Courtesy of The Severinos

Charlyn: It’s the truth. I learned to slow down and live in the moment. To bask in what’s going on at the moment. I put down a lot of things I was doing. I used to live pushing the gas, but now I want to live in the moment. My children and my husband — my home is my priority. I’m going to enjoy the moment. I want to go on vacations more and slow down. I’m still going to get to the bag, but I’m going to slow down. Mentally spiritually, and emotionally I’m in a new space. I birthed a business called Relentless Faith at that time. I stand on that relentless faith daily by trusting God and supporting my husband as much as possible. 

BL: It sounds like, in your own way, you’re both saying that you have a greater appreciation for life. 

Charlyn and Dre: Absolutely!

BL: At what point did you consider the light at the end of the tunnel?

Charlyn: When Dre came home after his last surgery. That’s when I could really breathe. 

Dre: I feel like I’m living in the light right now. I feel like I’m doing what I want to do. This experience brought life-changing opportunities. While hurt, I created a whole business that’s taking off insanely. That’s why I feel like I can’t stop. 

BL: Tell us about the business.

Dre: I created a podcast where I showcase first responders and what they do off the job. It led to conversations with judges, down to one of the biggest drug dealers this area has ever seen–and he sat down to talk with two cops. 

BL: What’s the name of your podcast?

Dre: The podcast is called “Silverback Chronicles Podcast.” I named it after my buddy that passed away from staph. We always used to say that we made it out of the jungle. We’re both from New York, known as the concrete jungle and the king of the jungle is the silverback gorilla. We called ourselves silverbacks. Because of the podcast, I had an opportunity to work with HBO to teach their actors how to have mannerisms as a real police officer.

BL: What advice do you have for couples who have gone through something similar where one is going through a life-altering process?

Charlyn: Trust time. That’s honestly the best advice I have.

Dre: You have to get out of your own head. Once you get out of your own head, you become more free. That’s when you find yourself and can be honest with yourself and your partner. The Roman philosopher Seneca said it best, “there are more things…likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”

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