
Family drama is inevitable. You are likely to experience it at one time or another. For some, it’s sibling jealousy that continues into adulthood or disapproval from toxic parents that uses their words to cut you down. For others, family drama is masked in silence because confronting people with the truth is too real and would cause irreparable damage. It’s safe to say that family drama can impact our mental health and our ability to form healthy relationships. While we can’t choose our family, we can choose how and when we interact with them.
The holidays do not exempt us from having unpleasant experiences, even with the pretty decorations and dessert charcuterie boards. With Christmas just around the corner you must protect your peace at all costs.
Here are steps you can take to avoid family drama over Christmas and beyond.
Understand Your Triggers

The first thing we can do to avoid uncomfortable situations with your family is to identify your triggers. Is it what they say or how they say it? Are there particular events or people that are triggering? Pay close attention to how you feel both physically and emotionally when you come into contact with those triggers.
When someone triggers you, the best thing you can do is honor yourself and refocus your energy to something positive. Self-awareness is necessary to navigate these spaces and minimize stress.
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Set Boundaries
Once we understand our triggers, we must set boundaries. Healthy boundaries give us agency to limit access to our time, space, energy, and emotions. The point of this is to help us stay resilient and put our needs first. To set those boundaries, we must be clear about our expectations of ourselves and others. When possible, let people know when something upsets you and makes you uncomfortable. Ask them to honor your feelings by tabling the conversation for another time.
If you know someone is not emotionally intelligent and is resistant to change, you can limit your interactions with them. Keep your conversations light, and do not engage in low-vibrational discussions. It is up to you to accept you cannot control people and what they do to trigger you. But you can control how and when you react. If your family members don’t respect your boundaries, do what you can to create physical and emotional distance.
Preserve Your Joy
A major step to avoid family drama is to create new traditions. Perhaps, you decide to take a trip for the holidays, or visit a spa for some needed rest and recovery. (Fun fact: most Korean spas are open 365 days a year. I went to a Korean spa on Christmas, and the line was out the door. Most offer food, soaking tubs, and places to meditate.)
You can also choose to volunteer and serve the needs of the community. Kindness and generosity go a long way and are good for our health. Whatever activity you choose, make sure it makes you feel good. You are allowed to make choices that benefit your well being and add value to your life.
If taking a break from your family isn’t an option, there’s always eggnog… with rum.
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