Ralph Waldo Emerson is credited for preaching one of the simplest yet easily forgotten truths, “For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” I’ve had to remind myself of this mindless fact countless times during my co-parenting relationship.
But I’ll share a secret…it’s true!!
Reality hit hard as I suddenly became…a single mom!
Like most couples, we had our fair share of arguments, letdowns, and disappointments but nothing that I thought would destroy us. Maybe at our worst of times I’d imagined my life without him, but my heart always reminded me how hard I’d fallen for him and how normal our relationship actually was.
As the apartment door closed behind him, I stood strong, straight-faced, stoic maybe, because I’d be damned if I shed a single tear. In that moment, I became the strongest version of myself and vowed to my daughter that our life together would be beautiful. We’d be fine.
He called the next day and I quickly established our routine, because he was a dad, not just a newly single guy.
I held him to task to act like a father, even if he wasn’t quite sure how, because I was determined to make sure he and our daughter developed a bond and a loving relationship. After a bit of a bumpy start, he began to visit our daughter regularly while he and I kept our interactions rather limited.
By setting aside anger and focusing my energy on the positive, attitudes have shifted, situations have improved, and family time has undoubtedly become our favorite time.
Fast forward three years after our breakup, my ex and I have established the most respect-filled and loving co-parenting relationship based on one simple fact: our misery was secondary to our daughter’s happiness. It wasn’t about “us” anymore.
“Mommy loves daddy, daddy loves mommy, and we both love her beyond measure.” We may not be a traditional family, but we love like any strong family would.
As a single mom, I’m unapologetic for the way I love and the decisions I make because everything I do, I do for my daughter.
I like to think of us as an imperfectly perfect bunch. We share an unbreakable bond as mommy, daddy, and daughter. We’re connected for life and will always choose happiness over anger, forgiveness over fault, and together over torn. Through our heartbreak, a best friendship blossomed. With each new day comes another moment, another challenge, another reason to reflect on the beautiful lives we live as co-parents to our favorite person on earth.
At the end of every day, I kiss my daughter goodnight and thank God for blessing us with each other. She’s 3.5 years old and has experienced 110,376,000 seconds of happiness and still counting.
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