Khadeen Ellis Opens Up About Choosing Home Birth After “Traumatic” Hospital Birth Left Her Fighting for Her Life
by Mariel Turner
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April 17, 2024

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Khadeen Ellis Opens Up About Choosing Home Birth After “Traumatic” Hospital Birth Left Her Fighting for Her Life

Courtesy of Khadeen Ellis

Khadeen Ellis never anticipated giving birth at home. 

The TV personality thought that she would deliver all of her children at the hospital, where many American mothers are taught to give birth by medical professionals. During her first pregnancy, Ellis found an OB-GYN in New York City who she felt “really just aligned with my spirit, my energy; who was well versed and had lots of years of experience.” 

“For me, I felt comfortable in a hospital setting with her, because I felt like she really had my back,” Ellis explains. “She made the experience not just about me, but also Devale [Ellis], my husband, and made sure that he was also well versed on what to expect every step of the way through the entire process.”

When the time came to deliver their son, Jackson, the Ellises felt confident that they were in good hands. Khadeen discovered late in her pregnancy that she had elevated liver enzyme levels, and her doctor chose to induce. Khadeen says that her induction experience was “terrifying” because she was “trying to do everything in my power to ensure that my body, which I had the utmost confidence in, would be able to do what it’s supposed to do.” 

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After being in labor for 12 hours and receiving an epidural that required three attempts to successfully inject, Khadeen was told to push. That’s when the problems arose, according to Khadeen. Due to the strain of pushing, her vaginal wall tore, causing her to bleed “profusely.” 

“I remember my husband and my mom looking down, and at one point, blood was just kind of oozing out of my body,” Khadeen tells Black Love. “They called the doctor back in really quickly and she was like, ‘This is not normal.’ Then you hear all of the stats and codes. It’s terrifying because you’re hearing your room number. Then, they’re rolling you out into surgery.” 

Khadeen narrowly avoided a blood transfusion and had to receive 27 stitches in her vaginal wall during a four-hour surgery. Her case was so rare, she says, that about 12 medical students came into the room to watch the procedure. She then spent seven days in the hospital recovering. 

“I went into recovery after that, so I hadn’t even seen my baby at this point,” Khadeen says. “I saw him quickly. When I first delivered him, he was whisked away to the nursery. He was actually born with a clubfoot. The [doctor’s] attention kind of went to him and the attention went to me, and I didn’t get back to him until hours later. I delivered him, I want to say, it was like 9:57 am. I didn’t see him until five o’clock that evening.”

Khadeen says the experience left both her and her husband, Devale, feeling “very traumatized.” They waited five years before getting pregnant again with their second son, Kairo.

 

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A post shared by Devale Ellis (@iamdevale)

“We wanted to have children close together,” Khadeen says. “But I think both of us were still not really dealing with the fact that we had such a traumatic experience, delaying us deciding to have another baby.” 

The second time around, they chose to wait “as long as possible” to labor at home so they wouldn’t have to repeat the experience they had at the hospital years before. Khadeen’s water naturally broke at home and she began having contractions. Because of her first experience with the epidural, Khadeen didn’t realize that she had a high tolerance for pain. The podcast host went to the supermarket and dropped her oldest son off at school while laboring. Before she knew it, it was time for the baby to come. 

“My husband had to fly through traffic and red lights to get me to the hospital. He parked the car down in the emergency area and he missed the birth. I told him ‘I think this is gonna go quickly.’ When I sat in the wheelchair, I could barely sit because I could feel the head crowning. I got into triage before they could even get my name and my insurance card. My second son, Kairo, literally ejected himself.”

After her first two birthing experiences, Khadeen felt confident she could deliver her third child at home. “I was able to have the hospital experience, which of course was traumatic because of the induction. I was able to have my second son where I let my body naturally do what it was supposed to do and labored until the very, very end, and literally just had him in the hospital triage unit. I said this third time around, what if I just had this baby at home? We would have been that much more comfortable.”

 

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A post shared by Khadeen Ellis (@khadeeniam)

Khadeen was 22 weeks pregnant with her third son, Kaz, when spoke with her OB-GYN and received her doctor’s support to try a home birth. She says she appreciates her doctor supporting her choice as some medical professionals frown upon home births and midwives. Khadeen reached out to her network of friends in New York and found her midwife, Takiya Ballard, who she says she felt “an overwhelming connection to.”

“That’s the first time that I felt someone actually put into me the power that I had,” Khadeen says. “And the control that I had over my body to do what I trusted it to do that it naturally is supposed to do.”

Ballard, Khadeen, and Devale developed a birthing plan that included provisions for medical emergencies, and included her mother and grandmother in the birthing process. 

“My mom had a place in it. My grandmother was there; she had a place in it. When we had our final meetings leading up towards the end of the pregnancy, [Ballard] would come to the house. All of the visits were at home so that was very intimate. She had my other two sons checking for heartbeats and listening to the baby and feeling for the changes. So we have a ton of videos and photos like that are great, great keepsakes for us.”

Khadeen’s water broke at home just a few days after Thanksgiving and she gave birth to her third son in a pool with her family, husband, midwife, and midwife’s assistant at her side. Khadeen says Ballard provided her with all the laboring tools she needed and knew what her body was doing before Khadeen even had a chance to tell her. 

 

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A post shared by Khadeen Ellis (@khadeeniam)

“She was able to empower, not just me, but my entire family to feel like they had an important piece and they played an important role in that home birth process,” Khadeen says of her midwife and home birthing experience. 

“She and I were in tandem with each other and we understood each other. That’s why the connection is so much greater than just that of a patient. It’s literally a soul connection that you have with this midwife. I would encourage any woman who is looking at a home birth to really investigate. Do you feel comfortable with this person giving you the autonomy over your body to do what it’s supposed to do, but who is also there as a support to you.”

When Khadeen found herself pregnant with her fourth child, Ballard came out of retirement and temporarily relocated to Georgia, where the Ellises currently live, to deliver the baby. Khadeen’s second home birth was another amazing experience, she says, with her family and midwife there to support her. 

“At exactly 38 weeks, [our son] Dakota made his entrance and it was a beautiful home birth experience. I had my mom and two of my best friends over. My sister, who’s a registered nurse, was acting as my midwife’s assistant. I labored at home.” 

“I was eating fried chicken, girl,” Khadeen says with a laugh. “Fried chicken and Hawaiian rolls like literally 30 minutes before I had the baby. Whereas in the hospital, a lot of time you can’t eat and you can’t drink there for 24-plus hours. You can’t even nourish yourself.”

Khadeen did experience some complications about nine days after her delivery. It was her midwife, Ballard, who encouraged Khadeen to go to the emergency room when she began having “excruciating” headaches along with swollen feet and hands. She was diagnosed with postpartum preeclampsia and had to spend three days in the hospital recovering. Khadeen credits her midwife for recognizing the signs and making sure she had the medical support she needed. 

 

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A post shared by Devale Ellis (@iamdevale)

“I have four beautiful boys,” Khadeen says. “All four birthing experiences were so different, but so special with how they got into this world. I’m just so grateful for, of course, my husband, who did all of the research every single time to make sure that he knew what was happening before I even knew. And then, also my mom and my sister. My midwife — I really owe so much to her. And also to my doctor back in New York, my OBGYN, who looked over my pregnancies with my first three and then kind of passed me on to my midwife in the middle of my third pregnancy.”

“We need to continue to share our stories, whether they’re good or bad,” Khadeen concludes. “I know sometimes it’s hard when you meet someone who’s pregnant, or if you are someone who is pregnant, you get overwhelmed by unsolicited advice. However, I think within our community we owe it to each other to be our sisters’ keepers.’”

Khadeen encourages any woman who is interested in home birth to “do your due diligence to make sure that you are a prime candidate for it” and “speak to your medical professional to ensure that that is something that you can do, and do safely.”

“Just really make sure that whether you’re going with the home birth, or you’re going with a doctor, that you are your best advocate. In the event that you can’t advocate for yourself, that you have someone there who can do that, whether that’s your partner, or a doula or a parent. Whoever you have on your team that can ensure that you’re getting the best care possible.” 

For resources on midwives, doulas, birthing centers, and hospitals, check out Black Love’s Black Maternal Health Week resource guide

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