The conversations surrounding masturbation are generally centered on single people, but orgasms are for everyone! May is Masturbation Month, and there are a lot of ways to acknowledge this fantastic celebration of self-pleasure. The various ways of exploring our unique individual bodies can stimulate our mental and emotional psyche in more ways than one. It also empowers us to communicate our preferred pleasure to our partners. So, in the spirit of sexual liberation, here are seven of the best masturbation techniques for people who want to have a better self-pleasure experience or beginners who need a bit of guidance in taking the next step to sexual body exploration.
Get Turned On
Arousal starts the domino effect that is the sexual response cycle. It’s also why foreplay is so important. The best way to ease into solo foreplay is to indulge in something sexually exciting. Perhaps, a book, song, memory, or good ole’ porn. The next step is to put some lube on your hands, and you know the rest! It’s time to explore.
The Wetter, The Better
Lubricant is essential when it comes to any type of sex, but especially solo sex. Lube reduces friction and isn’t designed to absorb into the skin, like the body’s natural wetness. Whether you’re a man or a woman, lube creates a smoother ride between the body and whatever is being used to provide pleasure. As a pro-tip, water-based lube is best for sex toys and condoms. Silicone lubricant works wonders in the water and is ideal for sensitive skin.
Play With a Partner
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Relax. Relate. Release.
It’s difficult to enjoy sexual pleasure if your mind is racing in a million different directions. But if you’re trying to release stress, then masturbation is an amazing way to do so. Ensure you’re in a comfortable space where you feel safe and won’t be interrupted unless you’re into that! Breathe slowly and intentionally, close your eyes, and use the rest of your senses to explore what feels good. Lighting scented candles or playing arousing music can definitely improve a self-pleasure session, and being in a clean room can also ease anxiety and improve the pleasure as well.
Make a Movie
Get a tripod for your smartphone and record your solo session either for yourself or for your partner. I live by the mantra and coined the phrase that “Pleasure is performance art.” Knowing your work will be seen adds a layer of voyeurism to your self-pleasure that may wake up your inner exhibitionist. Some people are turned on just knowing someone is watching (and enjoying) their performance. I also suggest watching your production alone. Watching ourselves masturbate inspires us to see ourselves as sexual beings deserving of pleasure and connects us to how sexy we truly are! There is a level of self-confidence and awareness that comes with knowing that you can please yourself—bearing witness to it makes it much more real!
Toy Story
Most people think sex toys are only big, penis-shaped vibrators, but in reality, there are adult accessories for all body types and all kinds of sexual adventures. Think about sensations you enjoy and look up toys that replicate those feelings. Sex toys don’t have to be inserted in your genital area to bring pleasure. There are toys for men and women, and that can be used in various ways. Strokers and bullets are the most versatile and accessible accessories that (when used with lubricant) can take your self-imposed orgasms to the next level.
Switch It Up
When we think about masturbation, there is an almost strict focus on the genitals. However, there are 13 different kinds of orgasms, and solo sex should include exploring all of them. Paying attention to other parts of the body expands our pleasure scripts and acknowledges other ways to reach ecstasy. If you’re not sure what I mean, here are a few examples.
—Use lubricated fingers to squeeze and pull your nipples while stimulating yourself below the waist.
—Put a magic bullet or vibrator in your mouth during “me time” to try and reach an oral orgasm.
—Utilizing a butt plug during masturbation can help you connect to the prostate (p-spot) and achieve an anal orgasm.
Orgasms release endorphins and dopamine, which means it has many health benefits such as elevating your mood and improving concentration. It can also relieve headaches, reduce stress, and enhance the quality of sleep. I’m an advocate for self-pleasure because it gives us a language to explore our desires. When we know what feels good to us and communicate it to our partners, in the end, it makes us better lovers, and the sex we have with others intensifies — making it even more satisfying.
JOIN THE CONVERSATION