ArynettaFloyzelle

"Friends" have been described as the family one gets to choose. Here are five tips to honor your fabulous family of friends this Thanksgiving, with a "Friendsgiving" fête full of love, fellowship and, of course, food!

Personality assessments like Strengthsfinder and Myers-Briggs are popular for finding one’s “type.” But can taking a personality test actually improve your life this year? Contributor Arynetta Floyzelle takes the Enneagram to find out.

From Michelle Obama to Elaine Welteroth, these 10 books on self love will leave you ready to take control of your greatest asset — your love for yourself. 

Self Love Specialist Chenoa Maxwell partnered with blacklove.com to talk how to craft the life of your dreams.

What does tidying up have to do with dating yourself? In this installment of "How to Date Yourself", blacklove.com’s Senior Editor Arynetta Floyzelle finds out.

Niecy Nash was at the Black Love Summit speaking truth and dropping jewels of knowledge about how she was dating for marriage, and so can you.

blacklove.com highlights women who left corporate careers to become their own bosses with businesses based on their passion.

 Need a push to see the world on your own? Here's a few beginner's rules to vacationing alone.   

How a solo long-term project helped Arynetta Floyzelle get to know herself, provided a career breakthrough, and landed her in a foreign country.

Dayna Bolden started her blog as a hobby. Three years later, it turned into a full-time business. blacklove.com found out how.

Biomedical Engineer Avione Lee took a break from her career in medical research to pursue her passion for storytelling. Here’s how she did it.

What does it mean to “Date for Depth”? blacklove.com Senior Editor Arynetta Floyzelle finds out.

Senior editor, Arynetta Floyzelle, explores "doing it all" with the one essential rule to successfully dating yourself this year.  

I’ve always loved my single life. Scratch that — I’ve always loved my life. Thinking about it as a single girl’s existence usually only came up when in the company of coupled people. That’s when I most often found myself pattering on about if there was someone new, special, or worthy of the “we.”  If there was, I committed to blushing gushes about “the guy.” If not, it was stated, then we rolled on to other topics –– and there were plenty of other topics. My life was full, and the “single” aspect of it was just one aspect. I was open to whatever couplings life brought — including the ultimate coupling, my husband — but I didn’t trick myself into prioritizing something I was not ready for.   As a child and into adulthood, I thought about –– even fantasized about –– my wedding. But it was more the magazine spread edition: what I would wear, where it would be, what that first kiss as a married couple would look like. It was like I was always planning the Instagram post. I know, I know, I can already hear the mumblings of “this is why we have a 50% divorce rate in this country.” What I am trying to say is: aware that I wasn't ready for the complexity and depth of marriage, it was easiest to focus on the surface –– the wedding. In my twenties, as friend after friend paired off into ever-after, I eagerly planned bridal showers, enthusiastically performed bachelorette duties, and loved getting lost in the romance of the wedding day. But I never felt the pressure to find dates for weddings or events, or to be paired off myself. My life was about entertainment and work — far too often, in that order. I loved only having to think about me — who I wanted to visit, what country I wanted to live in, what jobs I wanted to take. I loved the get-up-and-go freedom of single life, and I considered myself a “girl on the go.”   I would bounce to South Beach on a wing and a prayer with just enough money for a four-girl room share at the dingiest hotel on the strip, with my return flight landing just in time for me to drag myself to work.  My closet was packed with sassy dresses and flirty heels to support my “living it up” lifestyle and, when I couldn’t afford a new “look”, I prided myself on my ability to construct a ballgown from a tablecloth and a safety pin. I didn’t have to consult anybody when I decided to move to London for grad school, or when I decided to move back. And this freedom went for the tough times, too. When a family member was involved in a serious car accident, I didn’t have to consult with anyone to move to be closer to them, and when I found myself in debt after two unexpected surgeries, I didn’t have to consult with anyone to move in with my parents to get out of it.   I was only responsible for myself, and it was up to me if I wanted to honor or ignore that responsibility. Sometimes, the choice was a coin toss.

Gratitude is the attitude this holiday season. With that in mind, blacklove.com’s editorial contributors reflect on 2018 and share what they are grateful for. In this edition, Senior Editor Arynetta Floyzelle talks her return to Los Angeles, the wonders of wisdom, and the life-altering power of self love. As 2018 rolls to an end — almost as swiftly as it started, it seems — I sit in reflection of the year and all of the beauty it has bestowed on me. There are plenty of tangibles in my life to be grateful for: finally feeling at home in a new city populated with lovely friends, some I have known my entire life, some I’ve met since my arrival; an address, as for a very long time I was guest bedroom-hopping; the health of my family, loved ones, and self; my representation and all the work they do for me; living so close to an Erewhon; and, my position at Black Love and all of the joy and freedom it has brought me.

The “Single Girl Rut” can be hard to break and should not be taken lightly. But with strategy, determination, and these three simple (but necessary) rules, one woman is breaking the cycle, one date at a time.