It is still a shock to say “twins.” I met a woman last week who has teenage twins, and she said it is still a shock for her. I’ve always wanted twins, but it was sort of a joke, just a silly thing that anyone would want because it’s so unique and cool. But that doesn’t really happen to people who don’t have twins in their family, right? Wrong. Sure, with IVF and even with women of a certain age (the latter which I fit into), there may be more eggs present that get fertilized and then BOOM –– Twins! Nope, that is also not what happened here. Somehow, between 1-3 days of fertilization, my little tiny fetus became TWO. IDENTICAL. BOYS.
But let me back up.
Growing up, one of my biggest fears was not having a family. For starters, my parents divorced when I was 11, and people say you’re more likely to get divorced if that is your background. In addition, I’ve read all the stats about the alleged “Black Marriage Crisis.” To combat this feeling, I even co-created the Black Love series.
But along with whether or not I’d ever get married, came whether or not I could have children. My fears weren’t based on anything other than knowing that it does not come easily for everyone and wondering – or worrying about – what it would be like for me.
So with all of that in mind, when I became pregnant with my son Brooks, I was supremely grateful. But I was also very, very afraid. I wouldn’t let Tommy announce it before 6 months (you’ve typically cleared the miscarriage window at 3 months pregnant). And even then, I was so cautious. I didn’t drink coffee even though you can drink up to 2 cups a day while pregnant. I didn’t drink wine well into the third trimester although the occasional glass is fine. I stopped working out afraid my heart rate would go up and harm the baby. But, honestly, it all turned out great. My pregnancy was really smooth, and we have the most amazing tiny human I could have asked for. It was almost too good.