“How my husband and I “got over:” We spit venom, temporarily. We wagged fingers, temporarily. We cried (a lot), temporarily. We called it quits, temporarily. We sought vengeance, temporarily.
Then we recalled the permanence of what we agreed to (before ever making it down the aisle), and we stood in our choices. We accepted that our bad choices were as temporary as the emotions that prompted them and not a reflection of who we are. If anything, those choices just represent how reckless we can be when we’re crazy enough to forget the abundance we’ve been blessed with.
So, we chose our family. We chose each other – on purpose. And then we committed to getting out of our own way, so that the light could reemerge. We called a spade a spade and recognized we were flawed and susceptible to the generational curses of our ancestors. We worked on (*are still working on) changing our internal dialogue. We cut ties with anyone who didn’t uphold the sanctity of what we were building. We had the conversations that we’d been avoiding – the ones that hurt temporarily but served a greater long term purpose. We chose trust and believed each other and the things expressed during that conversation. We sought guidance in the form of ministers, therapists, and close friends, all the while praying like we were drowning.
Not so coincidentally, it was during our darkest hour that I was assured Chris was supposed to become my husband. I’ve been hurt before. I’ve felt betrayal and disgust and anger toward my partner. What I’ve never had in midst of those emotions was a man with a prayer and the wisdom to lean on God. That’s what kicked my butt down the aisle like, “Girl, you better keep him!” So, we’re here now. On the other side of the broom. In therapy and whatever other forum helps us see ourselves and build this kingdom up. Steadily reminding each other that we’re on the same team and continuously apologizing like we mean it. Because we finally do.”
Reflections by @mymotherhoodmagic