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Sex and Married Men
by Black Love Team
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September 3, 2018

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Sex and Married Men

Riding the pony, rolling in the hay, gettin’ to the honey hole, and getting it on. We have many colorful ways to talk about sex, but when was the last time you actually talked about sex? What’s expected, what’s normal, what works for you, and what works your partner?  Many would consider sex to be an essential element to a successful relationship. With all the hoopla around getting down with the get down, BlackLove.com wanted to get to the truth behind closed doors.

We conducted a survey where we asked married men all about sex. Their responses were honest, insightful, direct and to the point. We thank all the men who joined the discussion.

In a separate survey, Black Love also asked married women all about sex to see how their answers compared.

Sex and Married Men

*Yes, we changed their names

 

What do you think a normal sex life entails?

When I was younger, normal was any moment, anywhere, anytime. As I’ve grown, normal means on vacation or a quickie on date night.  

Mark, Dallas, 36, Married 10 years, Together 12, 2 Kids

 

Being intimate and connecting with my wife emotionally, physically, and soulfully.  

Jared, 37, San Francisco, Married 10 years, Together for 14, 2 Kids

 

I have different standards for “normal”…but it should entail surprise nudity in the kitchen.

Like she says, “Hey babe, can you help me grab the cinnamon from the top shelf?” And then I walk in the kitchen to find her naked, smiling…and wanting my body. It doesn’t have to always be the kitchen where the surprise nudity occurs, but sex should be as necessary as drinking water – you don’t always want it, but it’s good for you. Sex is water for the marriage.  

Lewis, 34, Los Angeles, Married 3 years, Together 4, 1 Kid and 1 On the way

 

How has sex changed for you in your relationship?

Kids change everything.  There is limited alone time and hectic schedules. We had sex 3 to 5 times a week at the beginning of our marriage and 2 to 4 times a month now.

Mark, Dallas, 36, Married 10 years, Together 12, 2 Kids

 

It has gotten better as we learned each other’s bodies over the years and how to satisfy each other rather than just having sex. Also, with being together for so long, we try to be creative so it’s not just the same old thing every time.  We have sex once or twice a week.

Mitchell, 52, Atlanta, Married 30 years

 

Not as frequent. Not as random/spontaneous (i.e., while scrambling eggs on a Sunday). It has become more routine, and lacks lingerie. Now it involves repetitive use of cotton night gown outfits.

Lewis, 34, Los Angeles, Married 3 years, Together 4, 1 Kid and 1 On the way

 

It’s more like an appointment now, almost has to be scheduled.  We used to have sex everyday, now it’s less than twice a month.

Mike, 37, Los Angeles, Married 4 years, Together 9, 1 Kid

 

It hasn’t!

Allen, 37, Atlanta, Married 2 Years, Together 4, 2 Kids

 

Do you talk about sex with your partner?

Yes.  Because I want to to stay at the forefront of her mind.

Lewis, 34, Los Angeles, Married 3 years, Together 4, 1 Kid and 1 On the way

 

I did, it went nowhere, so I left it alone.

Butch, 40, Brooklyn, Married 5 years, Together 7, 2 Kids

 

Not very often.  Not sure why, it just hasn’t been something we’ve talked about lately.

Mike, 37, Los Angeles, Married 4 years, Together 9, 1 Kid

 

Yes we talk about sex because over the years, as we change and mature, our bodies and state of mind [change], along with our sexual needs.

Mitchell, 52, Atlanta, Married 30 years

 

Yes, to fulfill each other’s needs and connect.

Jared, 37, San Francisco Married 10 years, Together for 14, 2 Kids

 

Do you ever feel pressure to have sex?

I wish.

Butch, 40, Brooklyn, Married 5 years, Together 7, 2 Kids

 

My wife does sometimes.

Kalvin, 39, Houston, Married 10 years, Together 11, 3 Kids

 

Sometimes, not often.

Marvin, 39, Miami, Married 4 Years, Together 6, 3 Kids

 

No pressure, but I do feel the desire.

Lewis, 34, Los Angeles, Married 3 years, Together 4, 1 Kid and 1 On the way

Thanks for sharing!  And to see the women’s survey results, please click here.

 

Tags: Sex, Surveys

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