Sex and Married Men

Sex and Married Men

*Yes, we changed their names

What do you think a normal sex life entails?

When I was younger, normal was any moment, anywhere, anytime. As I’ve grown, normal means on vacation or a quickie on date night.  

Mark, Dallas, 36, Married 10 years, Together 12, 2 Kids

Jared, 37, San Francisco, Married 10 years, Together for 14, 2 Kids

I have different standards for “normal”…but it should entail surprise nudity in the kitchen.

Like she says, “Hey babe, can you help me grab the cinnamon from the top shelf?” And then I walk in the kitchen to find her naked, smiling…and wanting my body. It doesn’t have to always be the kitchen where the surprise nudity occurs, but sex should be as necessary as drinking water – you don’t always want it, but it’s good for you. Sex is water for the marriage.  

Lewis, 34, Los Angeles, Married 3 years, Together 4, 1 Kid and 1 On the way

How has sex changed for you in your relationship?

Kids change everything.  There is limited alone time and hectic schedules. We had sex 3 to 5 times a week at the beginning of our marriage and 2 to 4 times a month now.

Mark, Dallas, 36, Married 10 years, Together 12, 2 Kids

It has gotten better as we learned each other’s bodies over the years and how to satisfy each other rather than just having sex. Also, with being together for so long, we try to be creative so it’s not just the same old thing every time.  We have sex once or twice a week.

Mitchell, 52, Atlanta, Married 30 years

Not as frequent. Not as random/spontaneous (i.e., while scrambling eggs on a Sunday). It has become more routine, and lacks lingerie. Now it involves repetitive use of cotton night gown outfits.

Lewis, 34, Los Angeles, Married 3 years, Together 4, 1 Kid and 1 On the way

It’s more like an appointment now, almost has to be scheduled.  We used to have sex everyday, now it’s less than twice a month.

Mike, 37, Los Angeles, Married 4 years, Together 9, 1 Kid

It hasn’t!

Allen, 37, Atlanta, Married 2 Years, Together 4, 2 Kids

Do you talk about sex with your partner?

Yes.  Because I want to to stay at the forefront of her mind.

Lewis, 34, Los Angeles, Married 3 years, Together 4, 1 Kid and 1 On the way

I did, it went nowhere, so I left it alone.

Butch, 40, Brooklyn, Married 5 years, Together 7, 2 Kids

Not very often.  Not sure why, it just hasn’t been something we’ve talked about lately.

Mike, 37, Los Angeles, Married 4 years, Together 9, 1 Kid

Yes we talk about sex because over the years, as we change and mature, our bodies and state of mind [change], along with our sexual needs.

Mitchell, 52, Atlanta, Married 30 years

Yes, to fulfill each other’s needs and connect.

Jared, 37, San Francisco Married 10 years, Together for 14, 2 Kids

Do you ever feel pressure to have sex?

I wish.

Butch, 40, Brooklyn, Married 5 years, Together 7, 2 Kids

My wife does sometimes.

Kalvin, 39, Houston, Married 10 years, Together 11, 3 Kids

Sometimes, not often.

Marvin, 39, Miami, Married 4 Years, Together 6, 3 Kids

No pressure, but I do feel the desire.

Lewis, 34, Los Angeles, Married 3 years, Together 4, 1 Kid and 1 On the way

Thanks for sharing!  And to see the women’s survey results, please click here.