We crossed paths a few times in the beginning of our freshman year at Howard University, but never made a formal introduction. As fate would have it, Brandy’s next door neighbor in The Quad and I had been friends since high school. One night, I went to visit said friend (shoutout to Symmi), but she’d just made a late night run to McDonalds. I knocked on Brandy’s door and asked if she could hang out until she got back. Well, 30 minutes quickly turned into an amazing 8-hour conversation where we talked about everything under the sun and shared our first kiss.
We were inspired after connecting to “come out” to our families the summer after freshman year so that we could begin living more freely. Both coming from Black religious households Houston and New York, respectively, looking back don’t know why we thought it was a good idea, but it was the onset of a shift in family dynamics as we knew them. Being two femmes in the LGBTQ community, who don’t always “live out loud,” has often come with its own hang ups.
By the end of sophomore year, Joy had become a part of the multitude of first generation students that couldn’t afford to stay any longer. For the next two years after that, we’d try our hardest to make it work while Brandy stayed in school, Joy moved back home, and our families were boldly navigating their dismay. We’d break up after Brandy’s graduation because life and the pressure of family told us it was best and the phase should be over. We dated other people just to realize how imperfectly perfect and equally yoked we truly were.
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Our tribe stepped up to give us the best HU homecoming wedding weekend we could all muster and afford. We decided collectively to celebrate in a way we could all afford that allowed our friends to be present, and what better way than homecoming — Howard NEVER lost a party. While I do feel like our initial wedding was rooted in the fear and trauma of our families dishonoring our place in each other’s lives, I don’t know where either one of us would be if we didn’t take that chance on us then.
We relocated to Houston as newlyweds in 2015 and faced one of the most difficult transitions that we weren’t sure we’d make it through. While we truly believe our parents have done the best they know how, navigating their doctrine and ideas of who they wanted and wish us to be, we realized we were allowing the wrong voices to control our narrative. We had a village waiting for us to be free so they could accept, show up and support us in a way we were truly jumping through hoops hoping others would.
It’s taken us a decade to heal, regroup, find our way individually, professionally, and as a unit. We couldn’t be more proud of us, a decade into marriage. We don’t even think we realized how much we still wanted the dream wedding, because we had so long convinced ourselves we didn’t deserve tradition and our love and special moments should be reserved and not for display. Last year, we were overjoyed to be able to plan the wedding and 10-year vow renewal of our dreams, and the freedom to finally celebrate our love out loud, as big as it has always been privately.
A Vow Renewal Steeped in Style, Soul, and Celebration
We wanted to create a romantic and intimate atmosphere—one that honored not just our love but the incredible journey we’ve shared with our tribe. A decade of love, laughter, and growth deserved a celebration as bold and timeless as our bond.
Our ceremony was officiated by our married couple friends—two people who have been a testament to leading by example and loving out loud.
One of the most meaningful parts of the ceremony was our ring blessing ritual. As a symbol of the love, wisdom, and strength that our tribe has poured into us, our rings were passed through the hands of our bridal party before we exchanged them—each person offering their blessings, prayers, and well wishes for our next decade together. It was a powerful, emotional moment that reminded us love is not just between two people, but something nurtured and uplifted by community.
The Vibe: “Cruella Couture” Meets Black-Tie Elegance
Being married to a stylist is a flex, and this renewal was proof of that! With a stunning black-and-white aesthetic—what we lovingly call Cruella Couture—every detail was intentional, from our attire to the ambiance. Handcrafted looks, custom styling, and a bridal crew that understood the assignment set the tone for a night of sophistication and soul.
Of course, no wedding experience is complete without finding the dress. Ten years ago, we went to Potomac Mills and found the cutest all-white looks we could. This time, we got to live every girl’s dream—an appointment at the largest bridal store in the U.S.! Thanks to our bestie Nelly, not only did we get to experience this unforgettable moment, but the owner personally welcomed us, and our consultant, Brandi, made the experience even more special. Champagne, giggles, tears—and most importantly, we said YES to the dress!
Our Tribe: The Heart of Our Celebration
We wouldn’t trade our people for the world. They’ve laughed with us, cried with us, lifted us up, and, most importantly, never lost a party! With over 30 years of collective love and friendship between us all, we realized—somehow—we’ve become ‘the adults’ now. This night was as much for them as it was for us.
As true foodies, we knew our celebration wouldn’t be complete without a dining experience that reflected our love story. We curated a 10-course menu, each dish symbolizing a moment, a memory, or a milestone in our journey together—from late-night NYC dates to Baecations in Phoenix to our favorite hometown flavors. With the magic touch of our wedding planner @d.concierge and culinary extradonair @bitesbybeehouston, every bite told a story, and every toast honored a decade of love.
And because the party didn’t stop at the ceremony, we extended the celebration all weekend long. One of the highlights? An iconic live brunch station featuring the infamous Katz’s Delicatessen flown in straight from New York—complete with a carver on-site. Because when we celebrate, we do it BIG.
From the first vows to this renewal, our love has remained as bold, vibrant, and unapologetically us as ever. Love wins, and we still do—now and always. This wedding was our birthright, a re-coming out, a celebration reflective of a love only we can share, and a forum for our tribe to show up and out for us in ways we never thought possible. We are beyond grateful for the past, honoring the present and are looking forward to all the years to come!
Meet the Vendors:
@colordujourphotography (Photography)
@d.concierge (wedding planner)
@kleinfeldbridal (Brides Gowns)
@Legacylapels (Bride squad’s custom suits)
@sirtroy.alexander (Joy’s Hair)
@qmanesociety (Brandy’s Hair)
@makeupbymekhi (Brides Makeup)
@glamdbyannick (Bride’s Nails)
@glammedbycozette_ @vanitythrone (Bridal make up)
@jada_s (Bridal squad hair)
@bitesbybeehouston (Catering)
@weddingcakesbytammyallen (Wedding cake)
@happydayzec (Social content creator)
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