Ciara Talks How to Turn Your Life Into Goals on Red Table Talk
by Avione Lee



June 4, 2019


10 Minute Read


Ciara Talks How to Turn Your Life Into Goals on Red Table Talk

Watching Ciara’s episode of Red Table Talk was a masterclass in reaching one’s goals, especially after heartache.   

Credit: Red Table Talk

Ciara’s episode of Red Table Talk was like a spring shower ushering in June blossoms. Sometimes, there are videos that come along right at that moment you need them – even if you don’t know that you did – and Ciara’s episode of Red Table Talk was that for me. Her gratitude, commitment to herself, and goal setting for the future was a masterclass in creating the life of one’s dreams, especially after going through some of life’s challenges.

Honestly, the last I followed Ciara was when she was dating Bow Wow (yes, really). I vaguely recall her getting married to Russel Wilson and completely missed her relationship with Fortune. I just assumed her life was going fabulously and would occasionally wonder what she was up to when I thought about “Goodies”. Yes, I have been living under a very substantial rock covered in graduate studies moss and baby poo. So, I looked at this episode of Red Table Talk as a nice catchup on what has been happening in her life with the ups, downs, and in-betweens of it all.

But honestly, the wisdom I received from Ciara far outweighed any salacious gossip that her former or current relationships might bring. Homegirl was dropping knowledge that had me hitting pause, so I could get myself a pen, right quick, and jot down my goals for my future.

At 14 years old, Ciara wrote in a notepad that her goals were to: 1. Be discovered, 2. Once discovered, sell 3-4 million albums, and 3. Have longevity in her career. She accomplished the first two goals by 18 years old and her appearance on Red Table Talk (as well as Twitter losing its mind over a tweet her husband posted of them at home) is proof of her longevity. Ciara is more relevant now than she ever was and is a newfound inspiration on finding your joy in life.

Now, I am a goal setter. Always have been and always will be, but I have fallen off of the clear and distinct pen-to-paper goal setting bandwagon recently. I took this Red Table Talk as a message the universe sent me to get back on that horse and ride it into the rainbow. So, I paused the video for five minutes and established three top goals that I really want to accomplish in the short and long term. I will keep those goals a secret, but just know that they were made on a scratch sheet of paper with a pen I dug out of my peeling yet very loved backpack. I might frame them.

Credit: Red Table Talk

But that is not all the inspiration I received from this Red Table Talk. In addition to specific goal setting, another diamond of a blessing that I truly connected with, that Ciara mentioned, was that you need to connect to a feeling. That is so true, because you may not know exactly what you want in life, or how you will get there, but you do know how you want to feel. Everyone on the panel agreed. They also agreed that part of knowing what you want to feel is knowing how you don’t want to feel. If you see something and your gut says, “Oh no, that is not for me,” then that is more than half the battle.

Part of knowing what you want to feel is knowing how you don’t want to feel.

Having the freedom to work and the time to spend with my family was a big want for me. I wasn’t sure how to accomplish it, but I knew that I desired it, and that thought itself brought me joy, which led me to reconsider where my profession was taking me, and ushered in a 4 weeks’ notice.

Related: Passion Projects: From Biomedical Engineer to Storyteller

Credit: Red Table Talk

Ciara mentioned that she likes to smile all the time, she likes being happy, she does not like sitting in unhappiness or discomfort. So, she knew that she needed to make changes. Making changes for her, at its simplest, meant finding her joy again. At its most complicated, it involved going through a very public breakup and starting over as a single mother. Now, for a normal person, just making that decision is hard. But can you imagine making that decision and having a hashtag moment to commemorate it, complete with trolls along every comment thread? No one wants that.

Though that choice was difficult for her, she knew that it had to be made in order to get her to that feeling of joy in her life that she wanted for herself and her son. Y’all, take that as inspiration!

Related: From Playing “The Engagement Game” to Finding Real Love: Joi-Marie McKenzie Talks Self-Worth and Authentic Happiness

Everyone can look at their own circumstances, no matter where they are in their life, and think of the feeling they want to have, regardless of outside forces that might want to chase that happiness away. Whether it be career-wise, relationship-wise, health-wise, or even vacation-wise, if you can tap into that feeling, then you are more than halfway there. I tapped into that feeling daily at my old job and still do. In fact, if you have that feeling of the life you want, but do not have that life yet, then take that as spring rains ushering in summer blossoms. Hold on to it, nurture it, and it will grow into motivation for the life that you choose to have, which will lead you to take that first step.

Credit: Red Table Talk

Ciara looked at the lessons from her relationship with Future and realized that that relationship helped clarify what she wanted for herself. She also realized that she may not fully appreciate what she has with Russel if she did not experience and grow through what she did.

Ciara took all the troubles and joy she has had and put them into her new album, lovingly titled Beauty Marks, to commemorate the so-called scars in her life that led to the current beauty in her life.

That message is so real to the heart of what should inspire people to leave their sticky seat of discomfort. To paraphrase an Albert Einstein quote mentioned in the talk, “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.” So, the first step to make, in order to step into a new life, is to do something different. For me, actually doing something different felt like stepping into a new world of candy-coated raindrops. Sticky at times, but well worth the taste.

Doing something different felt like stepping into a new world of candy-coated raindrops. Sticky at times, but well worth the taste.

That different thing to do is different for everyone. It might be as simple as finding a new job or as difficult as a public divorce. But the key factor in both is changing up your own behavior in order to move onto a new life’s path.

Related: What My Divorce Taught Me About Self Love

I am taking Ciara’s message of setting goals and holding onto “that feeling” as my inspiration for moving into summer motivations. Who is with me?