Daily Self-Care Practices Black Men Should Consider

Without a doubt, Black men in America have and do navigate a unique challenge ‚ balancing the many demands of masculinity and racial oppression at the same time. Meaning, you feel pressured to succeed and provide, but that sometimes means your responses in the boardroom will be called “aggressive” before they’re called “passionate.” It means you standing up for yourself in an everyday situation could result in someone calling the police. It means any given day, the way you navigate life could cost you. Needless to say, that ‘ish can be stressful. But while we have conversations around addressing how this impacts physical health, what about mental health?

If we’re being honest, the conversation around self-care is rarely aimed at Black men. Do we need it? Absolutely. But as self-care has risen into the mainstream, Black men are hardly the primary audience for those conversations. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t tell my grandpa he should meditate or try hot yoga, but if mental health and self-care are universal, there have to be entry points for Black men to enter that conversation, and I don’t think lavender baths are it. Here are some things to try instead.

1. Starting the day off right

   

   In 2017, I decided that I would listen to NPR One as I was getting ready to leave out. It kept me informed, but it also meant that I started my day listening to the most stressful and contentious things going on in the world. At some point, we had to let that go. Even now when I finally wake up after snoozing my five alarms (because in the word’s of Tabitha Brown “that’s my business”), one of the first things I do is check my phone. Texts and social notifications are up first, then email and Slack to see what kind of morning I’m about to have at work.

   Before I’ve even considered how I’m feeling or what I want to get out of the day, I’m already plugged in, eager to catch up and be productive. Instead, start off by setting an intention for the day. What’s something you’ve been thinking about and struggling with that you want to address? A negative mindset you’re trying to work through or a personal goal you’re trying to realize. Also consider waking up and naming five things you’re grateful for – big or small; gratitude can shift your entire reality so imagine what it can do for your morning.
2. Keep your friends closeOne of the easiest areas of our life to overlook when it comes to maintaining our mental health is the people we surround ourselves with. Conversations about self-care can focus a lot on independent activities because there are few things in this world we can control, but we can definitely control the friends we surround ourselves with. Who are the friends that leave you better than they found you? Whether they listen and give solid advice, keep you laughing, or share your goals, friends can make all the difference.

   

   During some of the most challenging months of 2020, a friend and I committed to sharing morning mantras. Not only did those mantras help us keep in touch during quarantine, but they also gave us some space to talk about what we were balancing and how that was affecting the goals we set for ourselves. In an effort to be radical about self-care, distance yourself from unhealthy relationships that bring unnecessary stress and drama. Instead, focus that energy on pouring into the people who you feel pour into you.

3. Choose your content wisely
   We keep a playlist for everything from the drive to work to when you press send on that “You up?” text at 11:33 p.m. The content we choose can make all the difference in our mood, and we can easily use that to our advantage. Better than that, when we’re aware of where we are mentally and notice things getting a little tricky, we can actually leverage content to support us in managing our emotions. At a time when just getting in the car to go to work would stress me out, I made it a point to play mindful mantras on the way into the office instead of just turning on Apple Music. But it goes past music.When I find myself struggling to manage things mentally and even when I want to keep the positive momentum going; I’m good for pulling up a Sarah Jakes Roberts sermon in the gym (fair warning — the Holy Ghost might cut you off at the knees at any given moment). I’ll even go as far as to pull audiobooks from authors I want to hear from to listen to while I’m making groceries or running errands. The name of the game is energy management. Something as simple as a mid-day sermon or a good chapter from a book can give my mind something constructive to focus on that will actually benefit me in the end.
4. When you look good, you feel good

   

   Anybody who has had their barber take an extended vacation knows the haircut after they get back is going to be life-changing. I don’t know if the magic is in the clippers that’s got a little too much “bite” on ’em, or if it’s the flame-thrower that is that alcohol swab running across the back of your neck at the end, but grooming will change your life.

   There’s something mentally satisfying about knowing that your look is on another level so make sure you keep that schedule on point. From regular haircuts and beard grooming appointments to making sure your fit is top-tier, your mental health appreciates when you can look in the mirror and hit that “Okay! I see you!”

5. Health is wealth
   Initially, conversations around self-care through physical health can focus on fitness and physical activity. This is because there is consistent data that shows the impact of physical exercise on the areas of our brain that make you feel happy, confident, and less anxious. Some form of regular exercise can be extremely beneficial as a part of your self-care routine. In fact, I work out as frequently as I do because it calms my mind and also allows me to focus on something constructive.At the same time, a critical aspect of self-care we don’t typically discuss is nutrition. Food has a severe impact on our mental health. Without the proper nutrients, our bodies become fatigued, we lose focus, and we’re more prone to feelings of depression, anxiety, and stress. Even the most serious gym-goer will tell you that exercise is important, but what you fuel your body with is what makes all the difference.

   

6. Our conversations around what self-care consists of must become more expansive if we truly believe that it’s a human need. Not only should we consider what we label as “self-care,” but we should also be supporting those around us to name what healthy, productive self-care strategies they choose for themselves (because rapping in your car on your 15 might bring you peace – I don’t know your life). Black men deserve to be included in conversations about self-care and mindful living because none of our identities as Black people come without their set of challenges. It’s critical to our collective health as a community, and our mental health a form of resistance.