Gratitude is the Attitude: Lessons From Parenthood

As a parent, it’s so tempting to respond to my child’s protests or negotiating with phrases like “because I said so” or “do as I say not as I do.” More often than not, I find myself swallowing the urge to utter these. Instead, I journey down the road of a million questions and entertain what feels like an hour of discussion about the whys. Initially, I did it to teach him that his voice matters and that I respect his perspective and priorities even if I don’t agree, understand them, or change my mind. Ultimately, the practice of hearing him out has taught me to be more introspective into the reasons why I make my decisions and, even more deeply, to reflect upon who I am and how growth is a lifelong process.

Though never easy, I am open to discussing how, especially in parenting. I know for a fact that my parents worked hard to give us a voice in our household. I remember having family meetings where we had a chance to voice our disagreements and appreciations to the both of them. They were open-minded in these meetings and did their best to let us know that we deserved a say in how we were treated. It is a type of confidence that has helped me throughout my life and all its changes. I am also aware of how every person has their own baggage. In many ways, the intimacy of parenthood can pass baggage along to the next generation or, with self-reflection, honesty, and openness, parenthood can help both parent and child sort through that baggage and get rid of negative weight. I have heard many parents talk about “generational curses.” Often times, those are caused by repeating patterns and behaviors learned from those who raised us. When I am aware, I know and am honest about my baggage, and I will do my best to help my sons be free from as much of my mess as they can be.

In the middle, with balance, it’s about listening to more than words. Through listening to my sons and the way that they learn and think, their purity and innocence has brought me back to an appreciation of the simple enjoyment of life’s moments and the joy of getting better with age. I like who I am becoming because growth, although at times uncomfortable, is a type of freedom.

By listening to my sons’ little voices and minds, I have learned that my own voice is often changing for the better. They make me want to be better for myself and them by slowing down, being present, and being open to growing. In this season of gratitude, I try to keep this perspective at the forefront of my mind and soul.