How I Healed After My Abortion and Helped Other Women Do the Same
by Latoya Mathews
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April 29, 2022

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How I Healed After My Abortion and Helped Other Women Do the Same

Latoya Matthews
Credit: @thelatoyamathews/Instagram

My name is Latoya Mathews, healing coach, transformational speaker, best-selling author, and founder & host of the three-day retreat The Free Woman. Have I always been this woman with accomplishments after her name? No. Never did I think I would have the opportunity to talk or even write about what I’ve accomplished because I believed that the pain and mistakes I’d made could never be forgiven or used for any purpose. I allowed my past to define my life and who I was called to be. 

In the summer of 2003, I found myself sitting in our little Health Department in the Mississippi Delta, hearing the two words I never thought I would hear so soon. “You’re pregnant,” she said. Honestly, I don’t remember anything she said to me after that. I really couldn’t do anything but sit there trying to take in what she had just said. There was no way. I didn’t tell anyone and had already made up my mind what was going to happen. I was in no shape or ready to take care of a child in these conditions. Conditions, I thought at the time, were not good for a baby. It was going to be the best thing to do, so I thought. I chose to abort. The plans were made to get the procedure done, but what happened that night was unexpected. 

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Suddenly, I was flooded with a ton of emotions and could not stop crying. What in the heck did I just do? From that day until about ten years, I asked for forgiveness every day for what I had done. I was left with a pain in my stomach, as a gift for what I had done. Fast forward, I am now living in Georgia. My journey to healing came one day after being encouraged by my pastor to read “The True Measure of A Woman” by Lisa Bevere. It was one of those books that also had questions at the end of each chapter for you to answer.  Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect. It was just another book to read because my pastor asked us to. So I thought. I found my twenty-something-year-old self sitting alone in our master bedroom on our queen bed with this book on my lap soaking up everything Lisa wrote on those pages of Chapter 2. Then all of sudden, I get to the end of this chapter ,and I’m stuck. Our big master bedroom began to get smaller and smaller as I started to read the questions (Lisa) she had written. Two simple questions I hesitated to answer as they danced around in my head. I just couldn’t answer them. Honestly, I was too embarrassed to write it out. Those two questions were 1)What’s in your closet that you need to clean out? And 2) What is it that you have to offer to others? 

It was like God was finally calling me out of hiding. I struggled through tears to write my answer. “I don’t feel I have anything to offer to anyone.” Anyone ever felt like that? You don’t have anything of value. I know I can’t be there only one. I was embarrassed once again. I felt useless. I felt unworthy. How could I offer anything that had no real value to anyone? It was right then that God began over the coming years turning my life, a life filled with failures and a bad mistake, into an invitation for a miracle. Shame and guilt were exchanged for forgiveness and freedom. Now I get to share my story and help other post-abortive women and women who have experienced tragedy and trauma find freedom and forgiveness. Helping them to reconnect with God and themselves. Nothing is wasted. Every past mistake, past pain, and past hurt can be used.

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