
I have a solid circle of four girlfriends that I consider to be my best friends and my support system outside of my husband and my parents. My girls have witnessed and supported me at my lowest and have cheered me on and celebrated with me at my highest. All of these ladies were my bridesmaids and continue to be an important part of not only my life, but my children’s lives. Although I am a busy wife and mom of a total of five children, I make sure to pencil in time to either plan brunch with my girls or just plan a day where we can chill at each other’s houses to eat good, drink wine, talk and laugh while the kids run around and play.
Each one of my friends play a significant role in my life for a different reason. My girl Gee and I have been friends since Pre-K. Being in each other’s lives for just about 30 years, there is nothing we don’t know about each other. She is always a listening ear for me and vice versa. I consider Gee to be my voice of rationale. When I need advice, Gee is the one to help me look at situations from a different perspective. Gee is also great with finances and very much about her business. She makes things happen for her and her son, and her drive has inspired me in so many ways. Then there is Tanasia. Growing up together at church, she and I have known each other since we were about 7 or 8. We quickly became like sisters. Tanasia is a part of the reason my teenage years were so lit. If I were to ever need a good turn up, she would definitely be the one I go to. Not only is she one of the most hilarious and carefree people that I know, she will unapologetically speak whatever comes to her mind without caring what anyone says or thinks about it. I love that about her.
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When I say my girls have always been there to support me, I really mean that. Whether it be a graduation, birthday celebration, engagement, bridal shower, bachelorette celebration, gender reveal, wedding, or house warming; my girls have showed up and showed out. They will travel near and far to cook, decorate, bring wine, and bring good energy. Although we have our own personal lives, checking up on them and planning occasional outings are always important. Hanging out with my girls is always a good time. Sharing stories, empowering each other, discussing relatable topics, and turning up is a must when we get together. I believe that maintaining solid friendships is essential and time has to be set aside to pour into those friendships. Of course, healthy boundaries are set in relation to my friendships and my marriage. But the blessing about having good friends is that they will understand and respect those boundaries and not even think to question them. My friends respect my husband, and my husband respects my friends and the time that I used to occasionally spend time with them.
I will admit making time for your friends while married can be difficult. Especially when everyday life, family, and work get in the way. Here are some ways that I’ve managed to carve out quality time for my friends.
Check-in regularly
Although it may be tough to talk to your friends every day, consistently communicating could be what is needed to help them get through the week or the month. Maybe your girl had a rough week and wants to plan a day to talk it out over food and drinks. Simply checking in could make a world of difference.
Sacrifice time occasionally to support them
During the most important times in our lives, we look to see if our friends will be there to celebrate with us or just console us through the pain.
Be honest
The truth is, sometimes we don’t feel like talking or going anywhere. Sometimes work stresses me out, or my husband aggravated me, or the kids are driving me crazy. Simply being honest with my girls (and giving them that same space and praying for them when times are hard) allows them to support me and give me the space when needed.
Maintaining friendships as life transitions occur isn’t easy, but it’s worth it, and you deserve to have a happy marriage and healthy friendships.
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