In a World Full of Girl Bosses, I Took 2 Years Off From Hustling
by Ayana Iman
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September 16, 2022

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In a World Full of Girl Bosses, I Took 2 Years Off From Hustling

Everyone deserves to take a break. At least, that is what I told myself. There was not a deep conversation about it or a well-thought-out plan. I just knew that I was overwhelmed and burnt out. Also, I was unsure of my goals and who I wanted to be. I did not always feel like my authentic self, dealing with imposter syndrome, exhaustion, a lack of clarity on the next steps, and being too overwhelmed to figure it out. 

 

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By day, I was a communications professional, working at a prestigious university and managing media relations. As a motivational speaker, life coach, and influencer, there was an expectation to entertain, motivate, and inspire others. When that work was over, my role as a mother began and did not end until my daughter was asleep. From the time we got home, I was answering emails, cleaning, cooking dinner, and shepherding her bedtime routine. Then, there was this thing called a deadline that my husband and I knew all too well. As a contributing writer for online publications, I would write articles that covered love, sex, relationships, and parenting. He is a freelance videographer and photographer. We would zone out for hours trying to make deadlines, barely speaking to each other, which was hard on us and even worse on our new marriage.  

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Yes, there was a lot to be happy about in my life, but I did not feel I was in a position to embrace everything. I was too attached to the outcome, and the need to document every success on social media did not help. The only way I knew how to calm the internal conflict was to get off the hamster wheel. In other words, be present and less focused on looking perfect online. The year 2020 provided an opportunity to detach from how things were usually done and live life on my terms. Two years later, I’m clearer about my purpose. 

The Side Effects of Slowing Down

Hitting the reset button allowed me to enjoy being present. It did not happen overnight; it took me months to reach that pinnacle. The urge to do something was strong, overwhelming even. I spent years working on my public persona – would everyone forget me and my contributions? My existential crisis started with a fear of being forgotten. The side effects of taking a break can include losing followers online and becoming a digital recluse. I lost more than 3,000 followers by not actively posting online. I can admit it was tough watching my peers celebrate milestones, but I soldiered on, more determined to live my life on my terms than ever. I wanted my content and purpose to align and feel good about it. With this newfound clarity, I became less anxious and more fulfilled. 

 

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Stop Hustling, More Alignment

Hustling has always been a part of American culture. In recent years, it has become synonymous with success. I, too, bought into the idea that if I hustled hard, I would reap the benefits. Did I see some returns from hustling? Yes. But, most of the time, I spent my time looking busy rather than being productive. As a multi-hyphenate, it is easy to have your hands in many pots and not focus on the details. Obtaining the peace I desired required focusing on my health and well-being. I used my break to address my health needs, including getting a colonoscopy at 30 to manage my gastrointestinal issues. I also incorporated more wellness into my life through acupuncture, herbal infusions, and spa days. As a result of these actions, I became more centered. When living in alignment with your purpose, you hustle less and focus on your mind, body, and spirit on what makes you feel good. When you feel good, you make better decisions that benefit your whole self. I can attest that aligning has helped me significantly at work, leading to greater opportunities and more connections in my field. 

Reevaluating My Relationship with Gratitude 

We often associate material success with happiness. Our possessions only account for a small part of our internal joy. I did not want my emotions wrapped up in purchases or how someone else made me feel. So, I detached from purchasing everything that caught my eye and spent more time being grateful for what I already possessed. I identified what was most important to me and paid homage to it. It felt good to get back to gratitude. 

Healthy Boundaries Define Success 

Reaffirming my relationship with myself helped me redefine my relationships with others. My boundaries were not where they needed to be in my personal relationships. Boundaries are necessary to align your needs, what you will and will not tolerate, and how you would like others to treat you. Limiting the noise around me made it easier to decipher who and what was good for me and what was not. I let go of the relationships that no longer served me and refocused my energy on ones that did. I am a better person because of it. 

Everything Does Not Need to Be Shared 

I was not clear on how I wanted to use social media and became reactive to opportunities presented to me instead of focusing on creating my own wave. Without a clear vision, you can get stuck. And that is exactly what happened to me. To get unstuck, I focused on having a healthier relationship with social media and not sharing all parts of myself. That meant every dinner or intimate moment did not need to be shared. I wanted my social experience to be fun without the burden of worrying about algorithms each time I posted. 

 

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So, what else did I do in the last two years? I got married and had a wedding, traveled and met new friends, made new memories with my family, and now, we are preparing to buy our first home. Instead of being on someone else’s timeline, I decided to follow my path. My purpose in life is to live joyfully, surrounded by the people I love. I have finally accepted there is no limitation on my success. I am in my prime, and there is plenty of time to get things done.

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