We’re almost one month into the new year, and in the last few weeks, many of us have made sacrifices and promises to ourselves to stay committed to personal resolutions. Each year this is considered a time to restart, reboot, and reassess. We continually set goals to improve our finances, careers, physical health, and spirituality, but what about our relationships? Many of us, including myself, hold on to the past in hopes there will be a future.
For some, their new year goal was letting go of toxic relationships that continue to cause distress. In contrast, for others, it was developing and maintaining a connection that will sustain time. What I’ve learned throughout my years of counseling as a mental health specialist is that reassessing our relationships is equivalent to recreating peace, developing effective ways to communicate with our partners, and [most importantly] learning who we are as individuals. In the words of the late, Maya Angelou, “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.“ After all, what’s better than self-love?
Related: In Search Of: Self Love
It’s a catch-22 because, in relationships, we adopt roles that benefit the household, children, and significant others. These roles were determined generationally by belief systems, cultural norms, and family dynamics. But where does our well-being fall into this equation? Unfortunately, we, especially women, become complacent to fulfill the roles in relationships as the nurturer or provider. As Black women, we have a difficult time taking off the cape. It’s a generationally instilled belief system of falling into the superwoman syndrome.