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Jemele Hill and Greenleaf’s Deborah Joy Winans Reflect on Black Womanhood and What Matters Most
by Briana Gabrielle
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May 8, 2023

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7 Minute Read

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Jemele Hill and Greenleaf’s Deborah Joy Winans Reflect on Black Womanhood and What Matters Most

Deborah Joy Winans and Jemele Hill (Credit: Kai Byrd Photography)

When Black women gather, it’s always a good time — and you can bet you’re going to leave inspired with a new perspective! That’s exactly what happened when sports journalist Jemele Hill and actress Deborah Joy Winans got together for Black Love’s YOU Retreat created by CEO and Co-Founder Codie Elaine Oliver. The focus of the retreat was sisterhood and self-love, and the discussion between these two truly set the tone for a day of wellness and vulnerability. The Detroit natives got real and vulnerable about their respective journeys within their careers, and here are some key takeaways from their conversation that left the room feeling so full:

You Are Never Going to Please People — Please God 

Winans opened up about not having the support from her religious gospel-singing family when she got cast for the role of Charity on Greenleaf. She spoke about her family only reading the summary of what the show was about and how they thought it would paint the church in a negative light. However, DJ (As Jemele affectionately called her) knew she wanted to be an actress and that she wanted that role.

She recalled some advice her grandmother gave her during that time which was, “You can do anything. Keep your standards, and God will bless you.” Winans went on to say that even though she didn’t think her grandmother was too fond of the show, she interpreted what her grandma said as; “Understand who you are and what your boundaries are and what you’re supposed to be doing.” Despite not having the support of her family, she trusted herself and did what she ultimately felt called to do. She went on to say during the retreat that, “ You are never going to please people. Please, God.” Often, as Black women, we are trying to do everything for everybody else and end up putting our wants and/or needs on the back burner. You have to follow your gut and really trust yourself, and that’s exactly what she did. 

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Jemele Hill and Deborah Joy Winans (Credit: Kai Byrd Photography)

Know Who You Are

Deborah Joy’s story reminded Jemele of the advice that she loves giving to young people. Hill told the audience, “Know who you are before you come through the door.” Hill went on to say, “If you don’t know who you are before you come through that door, whatever happens in that place will change you.” Both women beautifully doubled down on the power of knowing who you are, and this advice applies to black women of all ages. You don’t want your essence to be dictated by circumstances or other people for that matter. You have to walk into rooms and show people who you are and own that.

Take Risks

Keeping with the theme of speaking to a younger version of yourself, Winans asked what advice Hill would give to her younger self. Hill said,” I would’ve just taken more risks ’cause sometimes I think as a young person, you’re crippled by the fear that you’re making bad decisions. I don’t believe in bad decisions. Even the seemingly bad decisions lead you to a better place.” There’s so much anxiety when it comes to figuring out where you want your life to go and wondering how it’ll all turn out. It was comforting to hear from a woman with such a successful and full life that she wished she would have taken more risks. It shows that your journey is truly your own and that you should go for the things you want.

You’ll Always Be a Work in Progress and You’ll Always Be Enough 

The last gem from this discussion was when Deborah Joy told the audience the advice she’d give to her younger self. She said, “Learn the things that you don’t like…then you zero in on that and work on that. But don’t let anyone else tell you that you’re not enough and that you’re not perfect the way God’s made you.” 

We are all human, and we all can fall short sometimes. But the beauty within that is that we can always grow and become better versions of ourselves. I truly admire the fact that Winans brought up working on the things that you may dislike about yourself. It goes to show that we are always a work in progress, and as Black women, we don’t have to have it all together, we’re constantly evolving, and our potential is limitless.

Wanting more of these moments filled with sisterhood? Not to worry — we got you fam! The YOU Retreat presented by Black Love is now available to stream on the Black Love+ app!

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