
Khadeen Ellis — mother of four kings, wife of Devale, YouTuber, podcaster, and slayer of fashion — is not leaving any crumbs. After a brief stint in Los Angeles — 18 months to be exact — this West Indies girl, by way of Brooklyn, has landed in Atlanta.
Enjoying this moment meant choosing peace during delivery. “My best (delivery) experience was our home birth with Kaz (her third child). There were no complications. I entrusted my body to do what it was supposed to do, and it did not fail me. We were in the privacy of my home, and I was able to have my family nearby.”
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During Dakota’s delivery, her sister — a registered nurse — acted as her caregiver, working alongside the midwife. “It was a really special moment. I was surrounded by an amazing team of women. My mom, mother-in-law, midwife, best friend, and my sister were there.” The birthing dream team. Her midwife gave her the courage to think about the pain and labor as temporary. Khadeen ruminated on that moment. “The pain meant I was almost at the finish line and closer to having my child in my hands.”
Khadeen had a self-described pristine pregnancy. However, nine days after giving birth, she dealt with postpartum preeclampsia. It’s a rare condition that will cause the woman to have high blood pressure and high levels of protein in their urine. It is a serious condition that can lead to brain damage, stroke, HELLP syndrome, and death if not treated. Preeclampsia puts women at increased risk for heart disease and stroke and high blood pressure later in life. Hearing her story reminded me that even with your best efforts, things can go wrong, and you have to listen to your body.
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“My midwife continued to check in on me after delivery, and on this particular day, I shared that I had a persistent headache, which led her to ask me if I was swollen and to send a picture of my feet and hands. They looked swollen, but I didn’t think anything of it. I was told to check my blood pressure, and it was through the roof.” Her midwife instructed her to go straight to the emergency room, which she did begrudgingly. At that time, her blood pressure was 172/101. The doctors moved quickly, confirming the diagnosis, and told her she needed to stay in the hospital for 2-3 days. Thankfully, they put her in the labor and delivery unit, and Dakota could stay with her, so she could continue to nurse him, and her husband Devale was right by her side. “The doctor shared I could have died had I not come in,” said Khadeen. “I have four boys that I have to stick around for.”
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The dream team of women continues to check in on her, especially her manager, asking, “How’s your spirit today?”
“Everyone checks on the baby all the time. I’m not a first-time mom, but I am a new mom again. And going through postpartum, and it’s important to check on the mom, too.”
Khadeen shared in this transitional period; she is more purposeful about scheduling time for herself. And her secret for caring for four boys? Asking for help. The magical word that most find impossible to use. “We have to understand our capacity and boundaries and when to ask for help,” she proclaimed. While it is necessary to have people fill your cup, you can’t forget to water your own grass. A consistent health regimen helps Khadeen feel like her best self. She said, “I am trying to work out five days a week, doing a combination of resistance training, using weights, and cardio. The combination of the two will help me shed fat and build lean muscle, along with a nutrition plan. Right now, I’m eating a lot of protein and eating five small meals a day. I’m also carb cycling.” Carb cycling is when you fluctuate between eating low-carb foods and high-carb foods. “I started working out 8-weeks postpartum. Since I’m breastfeeding, I need to fuel my body, so we’re both happy campers.”
Another way to push through mental anguish after giving birth is finding accountability partners to keep you motivated. “The weight is harder to get off in your late-twenties and your thirties. But, this time around, I have a lot of support. Devale has supported me every step of the way. He has made every provision to make me comfortable.” “Results keep me motivated. Although the results are slow, I know I’m doing my best and seeing a change. I’m also doing my best for heart health. Health issues like hypertension and diabetes run in my family. I believe good habits determine your health outcomes, so if I adjust what I’m eating, work out, and live stress-free, I can change my circumstances. My goal is to be the healthiest version of Khadeen.”
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As a mom of four, Khadeen has much wisdom to impart to new moms. “Remember that it took 9-plus months to get to that beautiful baby in your arms, so you cannot expect to get back to yourself or a desired weight instantaneously. Give yourself a little grace and try not to compare yourself to others. The snapback culture can be very brutal. If working out makes you feel better, then do that. If you love your new body that housed your child, then that’s okay too. Neither route should be judged. It is not easy to carry a whole ass human baby and then deliver them earthside. Set time aside for yourself the way you set time for others.”
And you don’t have to go to 0-100 to see results. She suggested starting with 20-minutes of walking a day because it can do wonders for your health and mental capacity. No home gym? No problem. “When I had Jackson, Kairo, and Kass, and we lived in an apartment in Brooklyn, I was running up the stairs and doing stair jumps. I made use of my space when I had no access to a gym or equipment.”
As our conversation came to an end, Khadeen mentioned that she had to create a self-tape for an audition. If one thing is true, she will not stop. “We are in the process of revamping my (YouTube) vlog. We’re in the 7th season of our Deadass podcast with iHeartRadio and have two more seasons to go. We’re hoping to take the podcast back on tour.” Before the COVID-19 pandemic, they had several sold-out shows. And to top it off, Khadeen and Devale are co-authoring a book together. “It’s like we’re falling in love with each other again.”
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Find Khadeen on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, or www.KhadeenIAm.com. The Dead Ass Podcast can be found across all audio platforms.
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