The Father Noir visual memoir continues, and this time, we’re chatting with actor Devale Ellis. Devale is many things to many people — an actor, former NFL wide receiver, mentor — but his most important role is that of a father and husband. The “Zatima” star is opening up about how being a father to four young boys, Jackson Carter, Kairo Shakur, Kaz Hendrix, and Dakota Marley with his wife, Khadeen Ellis, has impacted him. 

Created by Black Love co-founder Tommy Oliver in 2021, Father Noir is a space for Black fathers like Devale to dive deep into the emotional and mental journey that is fatherhood. The series, available to watch on Black Love’s social media channels, aims to show just how involved Black fathers are in their families, bringing fortitude, resilience, love, patience and so much more to the home. Black love is fatherhood and because we know how important visibility is to impacting the narrative, we’re highlighting moments of connection between some of our favorite fathers and their kids.

Devale says that fatherhood changed every aspect of his life. Becoming a dad made him aware of his shortcomings and the characteristics he needed to improve on as a man and role model to his sons. 

“Fatherhood saved me from myself,” the actor shares. “I learned so much about my flaws watching my children because they are little mirrors of you. When you see your children doing things and you’re like, ‘why would they do that?’ You have to take inventory. Like, ‘Oh shoot, they learned that from somewhere and that somewhere is me.’” 

“They’ve helped me mature as a man because I’ve changed the way I speak,” he continues. “I changed the way I think. I changed the way I respond to people because I don’t want them to respond to people a certain way.” 

Related Articles:
Rotimi Opens Up About Fatherhood, Setting the Standard for His Daughter in Black Love’s Father Noir Series

Father Noir: Fatherhood is What You Do

Father Noir Celebrates the Beauty and Fun in Fatherhood

While fatherhood is a deep connection between father and child, mothers can also impact that journey, according to Devale. The father of four credits his wife, media personality Khadeen, with helping to shape his fatherhood journey and encouraging him to forge deep bonds with his sons. 

“I get four new chances at life,” he says, “and I get a chance to see the world through four different perspectives. Five, including my wife, because I include Kay in everything I do in fatherhood because that’s my life partner.” 

“I often get her perspective first and what she sees, and it’s very different from mine,” he adds, referencing Khadeen, who he married in 2010. “But then, when I ask them [my family] what they see when we’re working through things, it’s like I didn’t even think about that like that. It’s amazing because now I see the world so differently. I’ve actually become my dad. All the things I said I would never do or never wanted to do with my kids; I understand my parents better now because I have children.”

Fatherhood may be an amazing and beautiful journey, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Being a present and loving Black father in today’s world has its ups and downs. One of the biggest challenges, Devale says, is letting your children fail. 

“The hardest part about being a dad is understanding that your kids have to fall on their own in order to learn how to pick themselves up,” the actor muses. “And reconciling the fact that I got to let them fall even when I’m here. If they don’t learn how to pick themselves up now, they won’t learn how to pick themselves up as men.” 

Devale references his son Jackson’s growing talent in basketball as an example. The actor says he had to let go, stop “hovering” and allow his son to flourish on his own. While he is there to help nurture his son’s talent, Devale doesn’t let himself do too much. 

All in all, being a father has become Devale’s most significant role. The actor shares that raising his little ones fills his heart with joy and gives him a sense of accomplishment. 

“I think a lot of my success has come because I’ve changed the way I want to live my life because I want my children to live better than I did,” he reveals. “So fatherhood really changed my life for the better.” 

Black Love will continue to celebrate Black fathers all month long with our Father Noir series. Devale’s story is one of many uplifting tales that show the power of loyalty, respect and unconditional love. Stay tuned for more Father Noir stories on Black Love’s Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube.