Credit: @360photoss

Most people assume that intimacy and sex are the same thing, but they aren’t. Episode 2 of Couch Conversations addresses sex. vs. intimacy. My husband and I watched and we related to so much of what was shared between the couples. My husband and I consider ourselves to be a very sexual couple with high intimacy. Years ago when we first met, our relationship was strictly about sex before we reconnected. Although we are both very intimate people, the connection was minimal. It was very much a “Wam bam. Thank you, ma’am” type of situation. However, as time went on and we actually started to build a relationship, we realized how intimate we actually were and how strong our connection was. Which ultimately resulted in even more amazing sex.

Salah and I are both very flirtatious and touchy-feely with each other. Our connection is so strong that we can express intimacy just by looking at one another. Some days when either of us are having a bad day, we express how we just need a hug. Those are the best hugs ever. We literally stand there for minutes, hugging and rubbing each other’s back all while being silent. Those hugs are like a release and recharge for us. 

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Sometimes Salah will rub my feet without me asking or I may run my fingers across his back and it is everything for both of us! We dance and sing with each other, tell each other about our day, and sometimes we just may sit in silence. On days where our intimacy level is lower than normal, sex is still good but not as good as the days when intimacy was high. The intimacy, although it may not always be sexual, leads up to great sex. 

I never thought that I would have this level of intimacy with Salah. He at one time was just someone that I looked at as just a sexual partner. I believe that the key factor that we may have been missing was our connection. Having a deep connection with your partner allows their needs to speak to you. And without having to say a word, you can automatically respond to their need. To me, that’s intimacy. Although we want and need sex, intimacy is what truly fulfills us.

Couch Conversations Season 3, Ep. 2 with Greg & Diamond Alexander and Tabitha & Chance Brown

If you’re struggling with sex and/or intimacy in your marriage, consider these conversation starters from Couch Conversations’ Sex vs. Intimacy episode:

• Which came first in your relationship sex or intimacy?
• How do children impact your intimacy and sex life?
• How do hardships in marriage impact sex?
• What does your partner do to make you feel seen?
• What are your partners love languages?

Binge the entire season of Couch Conversations on the Black Love+ App or watch episodes weekly on YouTube.