When trying to share how one is dealing or processing grief there is always the fear of misunderstanding. At least this has been true for Felicia. There was a fear that when she shared her story on Black Love Doc that folks wouldn't understand. There's the fear that when people hear short clips of the podcast people will jump to their own conclusions and misunderstand. It's a real fear that when paired with the weight of grief is overwhelming. This week, Felicia and Karega process in real time what those experiences have taught them, and how they have grown from them.

How does one find gratitude in loss? In the hardest of moments? Continuing their reflections in their month of miracles and wonder Karega and Felicia reflect on how the meaning of gratitude has shifted for them since Kamaiu's double transition and how they continue to find ways to experience it.

I honor my reality and the heart work it requires to embrace my truth. I do not have to escape my feelings or rise above them. They are true and I will let them be true. What happens when the disbelief of manifestation holds true? When one cannot honor the truth of what they have done because the grief will not allow them to embrace their truth? Felicia and Karega share what emotions from all directions look like and how creating room for love allows for true honoring of the heart work.

Sometimes the art is showing up to the day differently than you've done before. As Karega and Felicia continued their stay in DC they knew that they needed to link up with their old friend Angel Gregorio. If you know DC, you know Angel. You know The Spice Suite, you know the work she does for the community and our people. What you probably don't know is how she has shown up for Karega and Felicia specifically in their grief. Listen in as Angel shares how her grief in losing her brothers to mass incarceration and her mother to drug addiction helped fuel her commitment to community, how she has more questions than answers, and how loss truly shapes us all.

While artists in residence at the Kennedy Center, Karega Felicia had the opportunity to sit down with their old friend husband, father, community leader, and licensed therapist Kier Gaines. In conversation they discuss not only how they have shown up for each other, but for community, and specifically the youth. It is a conversation about Black Love at it's core.

Felicia's desire for structure and Karega's desire to take the path of least resistance when it comes to parenting is looked at in depth within this episode. In this episode, both share honest thoughts about navigating through the journey of parenthood and the power struggles that come with it.

Some of you may or may not know but Karega is also an artist. His latest album, Legacy Lounge Season 1, features a song about Felicia one that she lowkey has been waiting for. However it is through Karega's words that Felicia has been allowed to learn how to process her own grief, and how it gave her the space to learn to love without judgment after loss.

Grief can manifest itself in a many ways, especially when someone is taken from us too soon. Today, Karega and Felicia discuss how they spent their weekend with mothers who have lost their children too soon. What they discovered is that these strong black women, who have experienced such tragedies, still find a reason to be joyous even though they carry such pain everyday. Karega speaks on how he is in awe of these mothers, including his very own wife, because of the strength they have shown through so much adversity. He realizes that grief doesn't only have to be a weight around your neck, but can also be the very thing that saves you.

We all know that nothing lasts forever but, for a 2 year old like Kamali, you have nothing but time. Today Karega and Felicia discuss their recent trip with Kamali to Atlanta to visit close friends. While traveling, Karega experienced a series of moments with Kamali that caused him to reflect on the fact that even though Kamaili is only two, there are things, as she gets older and matures, that she won't ask him or Felicia to do any more. The great thing about Kamali, even though she is growing everyday, she always finds ways to bring Karega and Felicia in the present to remind them that while time doesn't stop, being present in the moment allows them to appreciate those times before they are gone.

Your thoughts and self talk can have very powerful effects on your mental and spiritual health. Karega and Felicia both reflect on what it means to slow down and take time for themselves. Karega, more specifically, speaks on how important it is to not only take care of his physical well being but his spiritual well being so he can be there for Felica, Kamali and others. Felicia and Karega also chat about motivating each other and how they can look to their community for inspiration in order to make sure they are feeding the mind, body and spirit.

The heavy rainy season has Karega thinking about seasons, restarts, harvests and what growth should look like. To go even deeper, what he thought his growth should look like after everything he went through. Seeds and fruit and even the trees have shown him that growth does not look the same and neither does our growth. Especially our growth through grief. Having patience for ourselves is key as we do not all grow the same way.

Kamali celebrated her second birthday last week ! and while there was much to celebrate, there was also a period of reflection. Felicia and Karega take a moment to discuss the parallels between those who came through for them in this period of celebration and those who were there for them during their period of grief. Perhaps just as important, how different it is to be in this specific moment with a child earthside versus being parents of a child in heaven.

Having a toddler is hard, and Kamali is not as respectful to the needs of rest as one would expect of a two year old. You might know this about Felicia, but she loves her sleep. Like, it is a high priority. And there is no room for reframing things when there is no rest! However, there is more to this situation than Kamali being a toddler and the lack of sleep. It is about what we had planned, especially through our grief journey. The vision for our lives, the lives we had planned for ourselves, did not come to fruition. Sometimes the reframe is hard when you're thinking about the what ifs.

Karega has released his new project Legacy Lounge Season 1 Legacy Talk Only into the universe and reflects on what it means on not only what it means to be an artist, but on what it means to use music and rap hiphop as a way of processing his grief. Specifically, as one has to navigate the grind of promoting and selling this art and legacy project which means more than just a commodity. Is there a way to find balance in trying to build something greater than the machine of promotion and follows and likes especially with something so important to the whole family unit?

Felicia needs to make a change in her life. One that, on the surface level, is simple. She needs to cut her hair. Now, as Karega will tell you and show you Felicia has rocked every style under the sun. However, in this moment the impending change is different. As Felicia sits with it, she realizes that even something that she has done dozens of times before, now has a new association with it, and it ties into grief and Kamaiu. As grief is ever changing and evolving, Felicia and Karega reflect on how this moment is very much part of the experience of grief and just how the personal and individual each person's process is.

In their journey of grief, Karega and Felicia have each have had their own very individual processes in how they feel in sharing Kamaiu's story. Their truths vary as their experiences have varied. As the couple vulnerably shares, this ain't fair. None of it is fair and in all reality, no one would choose this path over having their loved one. Grief is wild that way. However, that is why Karega and Felicia create these tools of reference AND why the reframe is so important even for themselves because it is easy to fall into the trap of the what ifs and the not fairs as opposed to the living in the now.

What is present may not always be visible in the moment. At the right moment it will be seen. Its relevance requires its process and cannot be rushed. SOL Affirmations was once again nominated for an Ambie award which this time took them to Vegas. While in reflection, Karega and Felicia note how all of this, the podcast and the stories that they share in it, start with Kamaiu and the story that they never wanted to tell. Felicia never wanted anything to come from the loss of her first daughter, and yet through her sharing her story, the story of being Kamaiu's mother, they have created so much space for reference and for community.

Mass incarceration is a type of loss. It isn't often framed that way, but you know we are all about the reframe here. In the last interview in the series from the Kennedy Center, Karega and Felicia sit down with their friend Tony Lewis Jr., a DC community leader, reentry expert, and champion for children with mass incarcerated parents to discuss the community and specifically the youth of DC. Plus, the trio explore the concept of atrisk youth, and the grief, and loss experienced by those who have incarcerated parents.

Felicia did not make it to the gym today. She was dressed for the gym. She had planned on going to the gym, was ready will and able, but it didn't happen. She did, however, make it to the store. It was while she at the store she had a chance run in with a man who she had never met. It was through conversation with him, that she found out that they shared something in common the loss of a daughter. Through this conversation, Felicia realizes how much healing comes from speaking about Kamaiu, and Karega helps frame the experience through his experiences of loss and healing.

Finding joy, finding motivation, finding connection is fundamental to our existence. Both Karega and Felicia have been trying to find that balance of joy outside of the work they do daily. However, the music keeps pulling them in. Listen in as the couple describes how music, and specifically OUR music, has shaped their connection to self, and community. PLUS how it contributes to their practice of wellness.