When you least expect it, life can throw you a treat, a sister that will be there while you navigate life. That’s what happened to rapper Neelam Hakeem and actress Sierra Capri. The two who met at Girlboss Retreat state that they were immediately intrigued by one another. “Neelam caught my attention because she was authentically herself and has never strayed away from being true to who she is,” said Sierra. As time went on, they found themselves gravitating toward one another because they both wanted a beautiful, fresh, and genuine friendship. Though they have differences, that did not stop their friendship from blossoming. Neelam, a rapper who is in her 30s, is married and has two kids. Sierra, an actress who is single and does not have kids yet, found their friendship blooming organically. They both stated that it was almost effortless for them to build a bond. They embraced the differences and found joy in their similarities. Both women support each other’s careers, share family time with one another, and respect each other when life gets busy.
Hearing Neelam and Sierra discuss their relationship gave me hope that it’s never too late to find your sister-friend. I have noticed in my own life that friends seem to shed as I find myself growing. I desire to continue to find like-minded women in my life, and after hearing Neelam and Sierra speak, I realized those women can come when I least expect it and how I least expect it. “Be open-minded to who may be able to be your friend despite the different walks of life you may be in.” This quote from Neelam penetrated my heart not only in the sense of friendships, but in relationships as well.
Both women agreed upon the importance of authenticity. Sometimes I find myself putting so much stress on my shoulders to be what society thinks I should be or to be as accomplished as society thinks I should be at this stage in my life. As I was listening to them talk it felt like a weight was being lifted off of my shoulders. It was a beautiful reminder that who is meant to be in your life will be drawn in by the beauty of your authenticity. Neelam is a fantastic poet and rapper who remains true to herself and her religion. In her music videos, you can see her so beautifully dressed in her modest attire. When it seems like the world trend for women is to be half-naked daily (no judgment, y’all!), this is obviously going against the grain. But like Neelam said, “Being yourself regardless of what’s in, what’s trending, what’s popular is a challenge. But it’s a superpower to be yourself.”
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The duo went on to discuss confidence and the importance of showing up as yourself. “Be cool with being the only one in the room that looks like you.” When Neelam said this, you could hear my snaps from the back of the room because working in my profession I am usually the only Black, plus size woman in the room. Due to that, I’m often ready to walk right out of the room because I automatically assume I’m not going to be accepted but that’s not true. Who knows if I would’ve been accepted if I hadn’t left? Like Sierra said, “You never know what you actually have in common with someone until you have a conversation with them.” Additionally, I discovered that the problem actually lies within me. My lack of confidence was projected onto the other people in the room. Sure, there’s the possibility they may not accept me, but who cares? What sets us apart is the way we embrace our differences.
The best part of the discussion? When Sierra and Neelam discussed the importance of self-care. What truly resonated with me is their declaration that “self-care looks different for everybody”. Self-care can be allowing yourself to have a good cry, going for a walk, or, like Neelam suggests for fellow mothers, “hire somebody to clean your house for the day”. It’s doing what you need to do at that moment to alleviate stress. Both ladies live by this and say it’s one way they alleviate stress from being in the face of Hollywood. Like Sierra said, “there’s no book that teaches you how to do this job,” and honestly, that’s not for just the ones in Hollywood. We all have to roll with the punches the best way we know how.
Not only did Neelam Hakeem and Sierra Capri give me hope, but they blessed my life with their wisdom. There are so many nuggets they dropped on us that I can write a novel on them. The YOU Retreat as a whole changed my life. Coming from a woman who is in her mid-20s and figuring out life, I’m constantly searching for some extra wisdom on how to be a better version of myself daily. Today, I walked out of the doors with my shoulders back, chin up, and feeling untouchable. I had a new belief about life. My eyes were opened to the truth of what is and not the lies the world has made me believe. There’s something different about everybody that’s worth celebrating.
Thanks to Codie Elaine Oliver, Neelam Hakeem, and Sierra Capri! I see that, I know that, and I believe that also includes me.
Wanting more of these moments filled with sisterhood? Not to worry — we got you fam! The YOU Retreat presented by Black Love is now available to stream on the Black Love+ app!
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