This Therapist Wants Black Girls to Feel Seen
by Ayana Iman
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March 31, 2022

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This Therapist Wants Black Girls to Feel Seen

If you have ever Googled “Black therapist in my area,” you are not alone. Finding a therapist who aligns with your needs is tough; finding a therapist with a similar cultural background can make the search more difficult. Therapist Marline Francois-Madden knows that the journey can be grueling but worth it. Having a mental health professional who can check in and knows what is happening in the world helps when you don’t want to use your session to download information. What is understood does not need to be explained. 

As a first-generation Haitian American woman, Francois has made it her mission to provide a safe space for women and adolescent girls through therapy. Since she was a little girl, she knew this was all she wanted to do. 

Ayana Iman: Why did you become a therapist?


Francios: I am from New Jersey, raised by two Haitian immigrant parents. I grew up in a strict Pentecostal household. Everything was about school, church, and my piano. I am also a survivor of child sexual abuse from 8-11. Having experienced that and not being able to disclose this to my parents at the time, I started to dive into magazines. We would go to the library every week, and I would pick a magazine like Teen Vogue and Seventeen and read the Ask An Expert section, where young girls would ask questions about virginity, dating, and assault. I would read those comments in the health section and knew I wanted to be the [expert] therapist for someone. My dad would get me psychology books, and I would read through them. I was very intrigued by this profession. It feels like it was made for me, no matter how much I tried to run from it.  

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Ayana Iman: How has your cultural upbringing influenced your work?

Francois: It helps me to be empathetic. It helps to know how to create a safer environment for women to share their stories without experiencing shame or guilt. I know being vulnerable, especially for Black women, can be challenging for many of us who were raised in an environment where we are told to be strong. While experiencing a similar traumatic experience can make you relatable to your clients, at the same time, you aren’t disclosing these things to them. You can help people at the moment without being triggered and bringing your stuff into the session.


Ayana Iman: I’m sure that helps your clients feel connected to you, not because of the color of their skin, but because you can identify with them while keeping your boundaries. 

Francois: Absolutely! I always say the girls that get it get it when working with a therapist that looks like you. You can show up to your session wearing a bonnet without worrying about your therapist asking what is on your head. You can tell your therapist that you work in a very high-stress environment and are the only Black person on your team. Immediately they ask you about Imposter Syndrome, racial trauma, or a toxic work environment. [Black Therapists] can ask more specific questions that perhaps people outside our community won’t ask — who may contribute your issues only to depression. 

What are the psychosocial factors contributing to why you are experiencing stress or anxiety? It is important to have someone who is culturally aware so they can ask those questions. Or even a bit relatable. Imagine you were working with a client, and they were watching [the HBO show] Insecure and got triggered by the episodes with Lawrence and his child’s mother, Condola. Having a therapist who understands what’s happening in the culture and how it will affect the client at work makes all the difference.

Ayana Iman: How do you deal with Imposter Syndrome? What are your suggestions for women currently experiencing it?


Francois: Imposter syndrome occurs regularly, especially as a doctoral student. Sometimes I wonder if it is truly a syndrome or the systems created to make us feel like we are not enough. People recognize our worth and what we bring to the table, so they minimize it. So we start to think, “maybe I am not good enough.” Or “maybe I should not raise my hand.” Even when you know what you say is necessary. Generally, when I work with people struggling with Imposter Syndrome, I have them write down their accomplishments, a brag sheet of what they have done for the last year, so they can go back and see what they have accomplished, no matter how much big or small. Sometimes I have them go back to their why. What is your why and your passion? I also have them identify their core values and mission statement to ensure they know worthy just in existence alone. 

Getting around people who empower them and affirm them is also necessary. If you are around fear-based people, it can keep you down. Identify when you are experiencing imposter syndrome: is it a big meeting, pitching a product, or public speaking? Are the rooms not as inclusive as you need them to be. Understanding when you feel overwhelmed can help shift the narrative. 

Ayana Iman: ​​Self-care sometimes feels like a buzzword. How do you root it in wellness?

Francois: Yes, I agree. Self-care is becoming somewhat glamorized and focused on the luxury lifestyle. I have my clients identify the different types of self-care. Social self-care: hobbies that don’t exhaust you or are attached to a passive income stream. Emotional self-care: making space for your emotions and processing how you are feeling. Financial self-care: taking the time to revisit your financial budget. I have them identify the different areas so they can focus on them. 

Another form of self-care is making space for yourself. People will overbook their calendars with meetings or events, and when they get home, they are exhausted. It is all about being intentional with your time and assessing your bandwidth every day. 

Ayana Iman: How do you prioritize self-care?

Francois: At the height of the pandemic in march 2020, I attended nine funerals in my community. As the death toll continued to rise and the killing of George Floyd, there was an increase in people seeking help. I am very intentional and aware of my well-being. So, I made the conscious decision not to accept new clients because I needed to take care of myself.

I knew my existing clients needed additional support and may have experienced loss, and I wanted to be present for them. This led me to revamp my work schedule, rest, delegate, and hire a team of people, so I could fall back from seeing clients and support my team. I am big on sourcing and delegating to others to create more time for myself. I’m also big on business boundaries and created a system that works for me. All my calls after 5 pm go to voicemail. And I typically take 24-48 hours to respond to emails. Setting work boundaries is also for you; I only respond during 9 am-5 pm. I have always taken off in the summertime. My birthday and most of my best friend’s birthdays are born in July, and I want to be present for myself and them. Some entrepreneurs struggle to take time off work, especially when a life crisis happens. The life crisis that happened to me was when my father passed away in the summer of 2021. When my father was getting sick and transitioning, I knew I was taking off to spend time with him. I am glad I did that because it allowed me to have time to be with family, plan the funeral, and just chill. 

Black women sometimes feel like they have to carry the weight on their shoulders. Being able to take off and telling others how they can show up is necessary. 

Ayana Iman: What is the inspiration for your book, “The State of Black Girls: A Go-To Guide for Creating Safe Spaces for Black Girls”

Francois: I created the book out of necessity. There were no self-care wellness books tailored for Black girls. I started every chapter with Dear Black Girl so they can feel seen. Sometimes we speak to youth but don’t provide them with solutions. I wanted them to have these solutions if they don’t have access to a therapist. A portion of Black youth will never see a therapist from a lack of funding, no insurance, location, and many other factors. Girls can open the book and read about anxiety, civic engagement, or depression. I wanted them to have access to a range of topics. So often, people focus on numbers as outcomes for success, and sometimes it’s not. For me, it’s really about the impact. 


Francois: We (HECC) received a grant for five free therapy sessions for 50 Black girls in the East Orange, NJ school district. Once they have their five sessions, they can choose to stay on, or we may refer them to other therapists covered under their insurance. We are also doing teen mental health first aid for Black girls and boys. We talk about suicide or violence and where to go for professional help. It’s all about providing relatable information to the community in a way they can receive it. It allows people to understand some of the symptoms they are experiencing, like stress.

Ayana Iman: Is there an age people should start therapy?

Francois: I don’t believe you should wait. Therapy can start as young as three years old. Young people can experience life traumas from abuse or neglect. They require trauma-informed therapists who can give them the care they need. Some of the warning signs can include bedwetting after being potty trained for some time – or you notice a decline in their academic success. Also, when we look at the suicide rates, it has gone up for Black youth. Suicide is the second cause of death among young people. If Black children are experiencing suicide at such a young age, we must think about the factors contributing to this outcome. You don’t have to wait for something to happen; you can choose a preventative route to help children process transitions.  Some things are worth repeating.

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