In today’s society, so much attention is paid to marriage prep.  From the celebrations –– the engagement, the bridal shower, bachelor and bachelorette parties, and the ever-important wedding, to the work –– pre-marriage counseling, pre-engagement counseling, and endless advice sessions from friends and family, couples are doing their best to equip themselves for the everlasting “I Do.” But no matter how prepared one might be, there are always some surprises after “happily ever after.”

With that in mind, blacklove.com reached out to our community and asked, “What’s the most surprising thing about being married?” Here’s what you had to say.

“Understanding that men and women speak two different languages!”
– @Mrs3t

“The ups and downs. I had no clue.”
– @realwifecoach

“Submissive doesn’t mean unassertive. You can be strong and submissive at the same time.”
– Anonymous

“How important in-laws are.”
– Anonymous

“In the beginning, dealing with identity issues and having a tougher time with changing my name than I ever thought I would.”
– @divynthought

“You find out just how much patience, understanding, and forgiveness you have.”
– @iamdrphurley

“How easy it is to trust and give 100% of you to someone when you have God in the middle.”
– @itsShanaJaye

“Your spouse relies on you more than his own judgment and decision making. It can become very frustrating. #amindisaterriblethingtowaste.”
– @musiqMySoul630

“How vulnerable and “flawed” I could be without my husband’s love changing.”
– Anonymous

“Realizing that every marriage is like a fingerprint. None are exactly the same!”
– Anonymous

Thanks to everyone who chimed in on our Instagram.

What surprised you about being married?  Let us know in the comments.