Episode 4 of Couch Conversations: Is Marriage A Necessity got me thinking about this reality — everyone doesn’t want to get married. We don’t all have Pinterest boards full of colors, engagement rings, flowers, or a 90’s R&B song we’ve always wanted to walk down the aisle to. Guests Joshua & Antoinette have decided to commit to each other without marriage. They’ve been together for over seven years, are domestic partners, and are business partners, but marriage doesn’t seem to be on their to-do list, and that’s okay.
We didn’t all grow up watching movies, or dreaming of what our wedding would day. Or maybe we did dream, and life got in the way, and before you knew it — you stopped believing think those dreams were possible anymore because of life experiences. But whether you’ve stopped dreaming, or you marriage has just never been a part of your two, five, or even 10-year plan, everyone’s personal choice of partnership should be respected. Before deciding if you want to take the next step in your relationship, consider these takeaways from the episode on commitment.
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Selfishness Can Stop You From Experiencing the Fullness of Love
While Tab & Chance have been married for 18 years, they’ve been together for 23, and initially — Chance didn’t want to get married. In the episode, he shared that he never saw anyone in his family ever get married, so he didn’t think it was for him. After some time and attending a wedding that touched him, Chance shared that he realized that his selfishness was keeping him from experiencing new levels of happiness with Tabitha as husband and wife. Not everyone is selfish, but there are times when the only person standing in the way of your happiness in relationships, is you.
The Wedding Ceremony Isn’t Everything
DeAnna and Clint are married and have been for 27 years, but their story started a little bit different. “I was pregnant before we got married, and I didn’t want a wedding.” DeAnna shared during the episode as she discussed that initially, they weren’t even committed to each other. They got married in a church office with DeAnna’s pastor. Almost three decades later, they’re married with children and own nine restaurants together. How you start isn’t always how you finish, and more importantly, the ceremony doesn’t have to be elaborate.
Forever is a long time, and want to know that you’ve made the best decision for yourself and your partner. Remember that ultimately commitment is a personal journey between you two, and no one can tell you what that should look like for your relationship.
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