Spending the last few months alone in quarantine has allowed me to get to know myself honestly, but I’ll admit I’m high key over it. I’ve faced myself, had uncomfortable talks with my inner-being (that were long overdue), and I’ve challenged who I am at my core. And I’ve come to the revelation that me, myself, and I are good. But admittedly, I miss being around people.
Last week, after realizing I was struggling with quarantine depression, I thought of calling a friend who’s also single to hang out. We must have had the same feelings because hours later she called, and by the end of the night she was at my place with a bottle of champagne.
It was the best night I’ve had at my apartment in a long time. We laughed, ordered take out, and talked about our thoughts about quarantine. We even planned our first trip once we can fly without masks! More importantly, we had a real in-depth conversation about how too much time alone inside for single people can be debilitating. And we both shared how we’re working through those moments. Here are a few thoughts we came up with.
Prepare Special Dinners for Yourself
Pre-quarantine, I loved solo dates. I’d find cute restaurants in the city and eat alone. Both happily and often, and I’d even dress up for the occasion. I’ve decided it shouldn’t change because you’re indoors. You also don’t have to wait for friends to come over to try new recipes because you’re the only occasion you need.
Try New Workouts
In my opinion, indoor workouts can get boring, try something new such as hiking with friends. But with masks on, of course! At first, I was hesitant, but wearing my mask at all-times calmed my anxiety. I had the best time exploring nature and catching up with my girls that I hadn’t seen in months. It also gave me something to get excited about and look forward to.
Take a Break From Your Friends in Relationships When Need Be
I love my married/boo’d up friends, but their advice of getting on apps to find “the one” is often discouraging more than it is encouraging. Sometimes you just want to be okay with being upset at what you don’t have and not hear a speech in the process. Your feelings are valid, and you have the right to own your feelings, precisely the way they are. The best way to hold space for a friend who feels lonely is to serve as a listening ear. And just maybe, show-up with champagne!
BlackLove.com Related Articles:
Quarantine Depression is Real, Here’s How I’m Working Through It
Being Alone But Not Lonely in the Time of Social Distancing
Ways to Balance Your Mind, Body and Soul During Social Distancing
Take Romantic Baths
A Japanese study that looked into the mental health benefits of bathing compared to showering found that bathing resulted in less stress, reduced tension-anxiety, anger-hostility, and depression. While movies can often make you feel like baths with candles and roses are reserved for romantic moments with your partner, don’t let that be why you opt-out of purchasing yourself a few essential oils and some roses to add the petals in the bath with you.
Wear Lingerie for Y-O-U
I worked at Victoria’s Secret when I was 18-years-old, and I cannot tell you how many women came into the store looking for something their partner wanted to see them in, including myself. However, I’ve since discovered the happiest times I’ve purchased lingerie were moments where I bought it, for me. And only me.
While you’re secretly hoping your partner likes what you’re wearing, that initial walk into the bedroom can often be intimidating, but those moments with yourself alone are powerful. I recently became both interested and obsessed with sheer mesh bras. I’ve realized that seeing yourself in your sexiest form is self-love, and you should always remember that when it’s time to buy sexy lingerie and beautiful intimates.
Keep these self-love tips in mind beyond this moment, you deserve just as much care, and excitement as anyone else. Single or not.