If the dating field wasn’t scary enough, TikTok user Reesa Teesa’s video series, titled “Who TF Did I Marry,” will surely leave any person feeling terrified. In a 50-part series, Teesa details her experience meeting, dating, marrying and divorcing a “pathological liar” that she referred to as “Legion” to millions of viewers.
Teesa never imagined that this would be her reality. In 2020, she thought she met “the one.” However, she found herself entangled in a situation that she, along with her many millions of followers, can only describe as a Lifetime movie.
Teesa bares it all during her retelling of the story, giving viewers “the good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, [and] most importantly, the redemption and the forgiveness.” Beginning on February 14, she told the full, true and raw story in 10-minute increments, despite how she may have been perceived by others. Her only hope was that she would reach the people, especially women, who needed it.
Each part of the jaw-dropping, unbelievable story is full of valuable lessons for both women and men in the dating world. Here are seven takeaways from Teesa’s 50-part video series, “Who TF Did I Marry.”
Don’t Make Important Decisions Based on the Wrong Emotions
Teesa admits that she married “Legion” for the wrong reasons.
“When I pull back the layers of this whole monstrosity of life that I lived for 2020 and 2021, it really does boil down to the fact that I truly did marry him more out of fear than anything else,” she said.
Teesa made some of the most important decisions in her life hastily, during the onset of the 2020 lockdowns, based on fear and religious shame. These emotions made it easier for her to keep pushing aside the red flags and the constant lies. In life, and especially in dating, it’s essential that you make decisions based on sound reasoning, and not fear.
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Trust Your Gut
Teesa acknowledges that she ignored all of the red flags and the spiritual signs from the beginning of the series. Her ex-husband showed her “official paperwork,” manipulating her into believing everything he said was true. It caused her to second guess herself, despite knowing in her gut that something was wrong.
“To my sisters, … if something doesn’t sit right with you, investigate it,” she advised. “I excused away a lot of stuff that I hope the next woman who sees this does not excuse because I don’t wish this on anybody.”
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Believe a Person When They Show You Who They Are
There were several times that “Legion” showed Teesa his true colors. She shared different incidents within the first few months of them being together, where he made her wait over three hours after a surgery, held phone conversations and immediately turned defensive, and other red flags.
She caught him in a major lie, after he spent weeks making her believe that he put an offer on their future house. However, she made the conscious decision to let it go. There was no way that she could have known how deep it went at this point in the relationship; however, looking back on it, she can see all of the times he revealed who he truly was to her. Oftentimes, people will show you who they are through their actions. It’s important not to rationalize away their behavior and take it at face value.
Be Weary of Showboating
One thing that she said “Legion” always did was brag about three specific things. “Anytime he got around my family, … he would always talk about money and he would always brag,” she said. “He would always brag about the fact that he could fight, the fact that he had money and the fact that he played football.”
She admits not noticing his braggadocious ways until the end of the relationship and refers to his demeanor around her family as another “red flag to put in the ‘United Nations of Red Flags.’” Be cautious of those who are constantly inflating their ego. This may be a sign of someone who isn’t a good fit.
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Don’t Stay in a Relationship for the Wrong Reasons
Teesa says she stayed in the relationship because she didn’t want to be alone, didn’t want to look stupid for it ending so quickly and she was ready to get married. She cites those three reasons, especially her deep desire to be a wife, as the things that ruled most of her decisions. Ultimately, however, these are the things that kept her in the toxic relationship.
It’s easier said than done, because we all want love and to finally receive our “happily ever after.” But it’s important to make sure you’re in a relationship for the right reasons, such as trust, love, shared values, morals and goals.
Trust is the Foundation for a Healthy Relationship
After Teesa caught him in a lie about the house, the trust between the two of them was broken. In the videos, she admits to looking up public jail records, searching his phones, running background checks and scouring social media for his family members.
Trust is a foundational piece in any relationship. Without trust, the relationship will not work. As she reflects on her experience, she refuses to ever place herself in a space again, where she has to be an investigator. It’s another sign that the relationship is not a right fit.
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Find Comfort Being Alone
Before entering into any relationship, it’s essential to find comfort in being alone. Teesa admits at the end of the series that she doesn’t even remember herself before meeting him. This experience completely changed her life.
If anything, Teesa’s story serves as a tale that it is better to be alone than be with someone who doesn’t value you.
“There’s a level of cruelty to my ex-husband that I had never experienced before, and God knows, I pray I never experience it again,” she said. “Being single sucks … but being married to the wrong person is a type of hell no one should have to go through.”
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