Kamali celebrated her second birthday last week ! and while there was much to celebrate, there was also a period of reflection. Felicia and Karega take a moment to discuss the parallels between those who came through for them in this period of celebration and those who were there for them during their period of grief. Perhaps just as important, how different it is to be in this specific moment with a child earthside versus being parents of a child in heaven.
Grief can manifest itself in a many ways, especially when someone is taken from us too soon. Today, Karega and Felicia discuss how they spent their weekend with mothers who have lost their children too soon. What they discovered is that these strong black women, who have experienced such tragedies, still find a reason to be joyous even though they carry such pain everyday. Karega speaks on how he is in awe of these mothers, including his very own wife, because of the strength they have shown through so much adversity. He realizes that grief doesn't only have to be a weight around your neck, but can also be the very thing that saves you.
Your thoughts and self talk can have very powerful effects on your mental and spiritual health. Karega and Felicia both reflect on what it means to slow down and take time for themselves. Karega, more specifically, speaks on how important it is to not only take care of his physical well being but his spiritual well being so he can be there for Felica, Kamali and others. Felicia and Karega also chat about motivating each other and how they can look to their community for inspiration in order to make sure they are feeding the mind, body and spirit.
The heavy rainy season has Karega thinking about seasons, restarts, harvests and what growth should look like. To go even deeper, what he thought his growth should look like after everything he went through. Seeds and fruit and even the trees have shown him that growth does not look the same and neither does our growth. Especially our growth through grief. Having patience for ourselves is key as we do not all grow the same way.
We all know that nothing lasts forever but, for a 2 year old like Kamali, you have nothing but time. Today Karega and Felicia discuss their recent trip with Kamali to Atlanta to visit close friends. While traveling, Karega experienced a series of moments with Kamali that caused him to reflect on the fact that even though Kamaili is only two, there are things, as she gets older and matures, that she won't ask him or Felicia to do any more. The great thing about Kamali, even though she is growing everyday, she always finds ways to bring Karega and Felicia in the present to remind them that while time doesn't stop, being present in the moment allows them to appreciate those times before they are gone.
While artists in residence at the Kennedy Center, Karega Felicia had the opportunity to sit down with their old friend husband, father, community leader, and licensed therapist Kier Gaines. In conversation they discuss not only how they have shown up for each other, but for community, and specifically the youth. It is a conversation about Black Love at it's core.
In their journey of grief, Karega and Felicia have each have had their own very individual processes in how they feel in sharing Kamaiu's story. Their truths vary as their experiences have varied. As the couple vulnerably shares, this ain't fair. None of it is fair and in all reality, no one would choose this path over having their loved one. Grief is wild that way. However, that is why Karega and Felicia create these tools of reference AND why the reframe is so important even for themselves because it is easy to fall into the trap of the what ifs and the not fairs as opposed to the living in the now.
Some of you may or may not know but Karega is also an artist. His latest album, Legacy Lounge Season 1, features a song about Felicia one that she lowkey has been waiting for. However it is through Karega's words that Felicia has been allowed to learn how to process her own grief, and how it gave her the space to learn to love without judgment after loss.
What is present may not always be visible in the moment. At the right moment it will be seen. Its relevance requires its process and cannot be rushed. SOL Affirmations was once again nominated for an Ambie award which this time took them to Vegas. While in reflection, Karega and Felicia note how all of this, the podcast and the stories that they share in it, start with Kamaiu and the story that they never wanted to tell. Felicia never wanted anything to come from the loss of her first daughter, and yet through her sharing her story, the story of being Kamaiu's mother, they have created so much space for reference and for community.
Sometimes the art is showing up to the day differently than you've done before. As Karega and Felicia continued their stay in DC they knew that they needed to link up with their old friend Angel Gregorio. If you know DC, you know Angel. You know The Spice Suite, you know the work she does for the community and our people. What you probably don't know is how she has shown up for Karega and Felicia specifically in their grief. Listen in as Angel shares how her grief in losing her brothers to mass incarceration and her mother to drug addiction helped fuel her commitment to community, how she has more questions than answers, and how loss truly shapes us all.
Mass incarceration is a type of loss. It isn't often framed that way, but you know we are all about the reframe here. In the last interview in the series from the Kennedy Center, Karega and Felicia sit down with their friend Tony Lewis Jr., a DC community leader, reentry expert, and champion for children with mass incarcerated parents to discuss the community and specifically the youth of DC. Plus, the trio explore the concept of atrisk youth, and the grief, and loss experienced by those who have incarcerated parents.
Felicia's desire for structure and Karega's desire to take the path of least resistance when it comes to parenting is looked at in depth within this episode. In this episode, both share honest thoughts about navigating through the journey of parenthood and the power struggles that come with it.
Where does wellness stand at the intersection of Hope and Hopelessness? It's what helps you move forward. Today, Karega and Felicia discuss the the wholeness of wellness. What it means, where it has found them in their journey of grief, and for Karega, why it is fundamental to him connecting with other men in their journey with not only grief, but in healing. Wellness is the New Genre.
As Felicia reflects on her now 36th birthday, she recalls what the past few birthdays have looked like even as she has shared this space with you all. The changes that are naturally occurring in life have made their way and even the moments of celebration look different. While discussing that moment, allows to Karega reflect on a trip back east that he took with his father just before his dad's 70th birthday. It all lends itself to the question of how do the processes of life change our outlook on love, growth, life and celebration?
Oftentimes, we find ourselves trying to piece together the pieces of ourselves. These pieces become more apparent when we see them reflected back at us through our children. Today, Felicia has her Mommy sitting in with her in reflection of not only her journey as a mother, but in parenting. How do all these pieces fall together, and what does the journey look like from the perspective of the person who gave you life? What do you see now that you are dealing with the tiny reflection of yourself? It is a beautiful conversation of gratitude, perseverance, and hope.
How does one process the loss of someone who still had so much more to tell? Of a loss that feels too soon? Karega asks this as he processes the loss of one of his former students from DC, Troy, to gun violence. Troy, like so many of Karega's students, taught Karega just as much as he taught them. There was so much more to them than people were willing to see or understand, but Troy was able to communicate it all through poetry. Poetry that sits with and influences Karega to this day unfortunately now, through his absence.
Kamali has hit her tremendous 2s in full force and are CHALLENGING Karega and Felicia. Yes, we are fully aware she is a toddler, hence the challenge AND where this conversation meets us. What does one do with the frustration that comes with handling the challenges that come our way and in how does CONTROL play into the situation? While Karega and Felicia frame this conversation in the scope of parenthood, you do not need to be a parent to pick up these gems!
"Everything I am feeling in my grief is normal. Acknowledging these emotions is the ongoing process of healing." Today Felicia and Karega share about another loss and how they are feeling as they navigate this new grief. What lessons have they learned not only from Kamaiu, but from other losses that allow them to keep growing, to keep moving, and to keep walking in faith? How does comparison weigh so heavy while looking at one's own journey? There are no set answers. We ask you to join us in reflection as we all try to better understand the process behind the creation of the conditions to acknowledge our grief.
Practicing Love. Sit with that statement for a second. How often do we treat love as a practice or a philosophy? Do we realize that love, as with all things, changes and grows? That it requires us to study, and practice it? That it will test us? Push us? Today Karega and Felicia discuss moments that have challenged their practice of love, BUT have also allowed for a sort of mastery of certain facets of it. Even as it changes and grows, continuing to PRACTICE LOVE allows us to grow in love.
Finding joy, finding motivation, finding connection is fundamental to our existence. Both Karega and Felicia have been trying to find that balance of joy outside of the work they do daily. However, the music keeps pulling them in. Listen in as the couple describes how music, and specifically OUR music, has shaped their connection to self, and community. PLUS how it contributes to their practice of wellness.
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