First-generation WNBA players Nneka and Chiney Ogwumike and former professional athlete turned life and wellness coach Koya Webb are three women who are no strangers to an active lifestyle. Last week, they were in attendance for Black Love’s 2nd YOU Retreat and spoke on a panel titled “Wellness At The Highest Level.” When discussing being an athlete and wellness, the first thing that comes to mind is being in shape because that’s paramount for sports. You exercise, train, and conform your entire lifestyle to give your body the capacity it needs to thrive as an athlete. But how often do we think about mental wellness when we discuss being an athlete? Nneka, Chiney, and Koya not only examined their experiences and how mental wellness coincides with the physical, but they highlighted how they incorporate it into their daily lives.
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I sat in awe of how the Ogwumike sisters not only gave each other their flowers but talked about how their upbringing has contributed to the women that they are today. The unity and selflessness they showed throughout the discussion were a clear indication of the grounding family values they were raised with. They explored how their parents instilled in them sisterhood and compassion over competitiveness not only on the court but in life. Talk about humility and uplifting one another instead of trying to dim the other’s light! Despite that though, they opened up that it’s not always easy to stay positive. “We have to admit, though, sometimes our light gets extinguished as a result of the challenges we face.” Nneka reminisced on a vulnerable time in her life when she got injured at a pivotal point in the season. Her self-worth was at an all-time low, and she admitted to being embarrassed because she couldn’t lift herself up during that dark moment. “Hurricane Nneka” (her family nickname) went from what she described as being the “strong friend,” to being unable to look at herself in the mirror because she was so defeated.
The Ogwumike sisters have essentially been their own inner circle, and they shared on finding out the importance of sisterhood and companionship during a time when Chiney was unable to be strong for herself. With the mantra of “Ima do me,” Nneka gave insight as to how she navigates the adversities of life through mental wellness. “There’s aspects to our experience that has everything to do with what we’re feeling inside.” This consists of healthy boundaries for herself and others, self-care, and being mindful of the language she uses when she talks to herself. Nneka also talked about how going through rough moments in life helps you to filter through your circle to determine who is really for you and how that also translates into your physical and mental wellness. Chiney attested to just how much her sister’s implementation of boundaries has influenced her to have her own. Further, she described Nneka as a support system for her when she was immobilized due to an injury by providing her with validation and also filling herself with positive affirmations and language and emphasized the importance of de-stigmatizing therapy and wellness in the Black community.
The message that was stuck in my heart the most was the importance of mental health and therapy. Granted, in life, we always go through things here and there, and for some of those moments, we may be able to brush them off and move on. But when life really hits, then what? Then you’re stuck. You can’t think, can’t pray; everything seems and feels off. When Nneka talked about the dark moments that she went through where she couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror, that hit home. I used to find myself stuck in a pit at a point in my life, wondering how I even got out of bed to go to work. I’d get in my car, take off my “mask” and just start boohoo crying. It wasn’t until I started to expand and deepen my relationship with God that I was able to begin recovering from the things that I was experiencing. Like Koya, I found my power in building my relationship with God and being open to new methods of healing. I never thought I needed therapy. I had didn’t have anything against it, I just didn’t think I would ever need it. Then life happened, and a very dear person to my heart recommended that I begin therapy. It took me a while, but it wasn’t until I started therapy and began unpacking everything from childhood on to relationships, etc., that I was able to begin to discover who I am beyond the mess. This panel discussion showed me you can eat all the healthy foods, exercise daily, get spa treatments twice a week, but if you’re not catering to your mental health, then the maintenance of the physical is in vain.
The YOU Retreat was an event of empowerment and true community amongst Black women. In a society where we are trained to be pitted against one another, this retreat has created a safe space where mental health and wellness, and sisterhood are favored upon and mandated. Hugging and mingling with women whom you’ve never met, building connections, and empowering one another simply through conversation — there was no room for anything that was not positive and not God-like. I have truly been inspired being a witness to the testimonies of faith-driven women who were where I am. The normalizing and validation of my own experiences that I received (and didn’t know I needed) was everything, and I am forever grateful to have been a part of such an experience.
Wanting more of these moments filled with sisterhood? Not to worry — we got you fam! The YOU Retreat presented by Black Love is now available to stream on the Black Love+ app!
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