This episode, perfectly titled “Emerging from Darkness,” was so powerful because it’s the point in the season where the couples are completely transparent and vulnerable about the not-so-easy times in marriage. They open up and share some of the darkest moments in their relationships, from addictions to infidelity, depression, and really bad fights.
My husband and I can totally relate to not knowing how to communicate during arguments, but before I get into the details, let me tell y’all a little bit about the beginning of our relationship.
But, then we got married and QUICKLY realized the day-to-day work in marriage is no joke. Once the honeymoon stage is over and you say “I do,” it gets real.
When we got married, we were both were working every day, trying to blend a family, and planning our big wedding since we made it official at the courthouse. Oh and let me not forget to mention, I got pregnant six months after getting married. Whew! We had A LOT on our plate as newlyweds, and it was a pretty stressful first year.
Related: There’s No Such Thing as the Perfect Love Story
We both started to wonder if we made the right decision or if we married the wrong person. Like Mattie and Chris talked about…love is one thing, you can love a person all day…but do you really like them? That was another “so true” moment while watching episode three. I never once questioned my love for Bryan, but there were plenty of times I know neither one of us liked each other.
We had a turning point when we realized, regardless of the hard times, WE ARE STILL MARRIED. Michael Elliot summed it up perfectly when he said, “You’re married until you’re NOT married.” In the episode, he shared how he and his wife Mecca were super close to divorce, however he hopped on a plane to be by her side after finding out that her aunt had died. That showed the love was still there and you only do something like that for someone you truly care for. I can relate because I know the love my husband and I have for each other is what made us show up for each other every day and at least want to try to fight for our marriage.It wasn’t until we were like, “Okay, we can walk around here mad and not talk, or we can sit down and work this stuff out.” It wasn’t an overnight transformation, but we got better with each argument. We went from throwing things and saying extremely hurtful stuff to one another, to being mature enough to say, let’s address this later when emotions aren’t so high.
Now, here we are almost four years of marriage later, and we’ve found our joy again. Looking back, I’m so grateful we didn’t quit when we wanted to. Hearing about what some of these couples have gone through, and seeing that they’re now on the other side of it, shows that with hard work you can save your marriage, even if you’ve gone through some unthinkable situations.
Related: Communication 101: Learning How to Fight Fair
When Ricky Bell said, “There’s this false belief that when you get married and fall in love, the love that you have for each other will be enough to sustain the marriage,” I thought, that’s SO true! No couple is perfect and we all go through ups and downs. I’m just grateful to know that we aren’t alone in those struggles.
Thank you, Black Love!
Be sure to tune in to Black Love on Saturdays at 9/8c on OWN! Also, binge watch seasons 1 and 2 on Amazon and Urban Movie Channel.
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