Gail Bean, Malcolm Mays, Obio Jones and Natalie Odell Dish on Romance, Friendship, and Intention at Black Love Summit
by Mariel Turner
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October 18, 2024

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Gail Bean, Malcolm Mays, Obio Jones and Natalie Odell Dish on Romance, Friendship, and Intention at Black Love Summit

Ask anyone in these streets — dating has never been harder. Folks looking for love have to navigate dating apps, DMs, texting, TikToks, emojis, “should you pay for the first date?” conversations, and so much more. While it can feel impossible to find “the one,” there is hope out there, as witnessed by the “To Bae or Not To Bae” panel at the 2024 Black Love Summit in Los Angeles.

“Snowfall” actress Gail Bean, “Power Book III: Raising Kanan” actor Malcolm Mays, content creator Obio Jones, and content creator and singer Natalie Odell joined emotional intelligence coach Blue Telusma for a hilarious and honest conversation about dating in today’s world. The group of creatives were transparent about the romantic relationships in their lives, the role friendship plays in dating, and so much more. Bean opened up about being intentional while dating, saying that it is “very important to know what you want.”

“It’s okay if you’re dating right now to just test the waters. If you for the streets, hey, street on. That’s okay. But me, currently, I’m looking for a husband,” the actress revealed. “And not just a husband — I’m looking for someone to die with. I want to like you. Maybe not every day. It’s okay. It’s fine. I don’t like myself every day, but I want to truly love you, unconditionally, forever. I say when I’m dating someone, ‘Look, if we get married, I don’t get divorced.’ So I think that’s very important.”

“If you’re dating someone who doesn’t have the same intentions with you, I think it’s very important to be realistic and honest with yourself,” Bean added. “Understand you can’t change that person’s mind. It’s the same way when people date someone who doesn’t want kids and they want kids. So be honest.”

 

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Bean’s best friend and “Snowfall” castmate Mays echoed her sentiments, sharing his thoughts on the importance of friendship in a romantic relationship. The L.A. native would neither confirm, nor deny, that he and Bean are a couple as the Internet has speculated, but he did share that he wants friendship to be an anchor of any romantic partnership.

“I get a bad rap because I don’t traditionally date. I don’t date in the conventional way because I don’t play,” Mays explained. “I think that a lot of people treat dating as a casual thing — which by the way, date on, as you may say. But if we dating, the reason I don’t play with that is because it’s a prelude to marriage. It is for me. We are preparing for monogamy, for matrimony or whatever it may look like.”

“I don’t want just someone who I’m romantically linked [to]. For me personally, I want somebody where when I’m at my worst, they still rocking with me. I can’t speak for no one else, but I need that foundation of friendship,” Mays said, before adding that his “personal life when it comes to romance is so, so private to me” and Bean “feels the same way.”

“Whether it was me or another wonderful man in her [Bean’s] life, I would respect and honor her privacy,” Mays said.

For Odell, who is engaged to artist Ezee, love blossomed from friendship. The content creator dished on her relationship during the panel discussion, sharing that she and Ezee were best friends for years before becoming lovers. Odell had to process not only her new love, but also her sexuality as it was the first time she had dated a woman. She said the life-changing experience was “crazy, honestly.”

“We met through social media, just working together,” Odell said about their early friendship. “We had very similar work ethics. That was the thing that really powered our friendship is we could count on each other to film and really get out there and start our careers. Over time, I just started looking at her a little different, but it was so confusing for me. I’d be arguing with my family, like, ‘No, [she’s] my best friend! Stop asking me that.’ And they’re like, ‘Are you sure you’re not in love with her?’”

“Now in hindsight, I look back and I’m like, ‘oh wow. I was oblivious.’ I really was falling for her. It was really tough because — back on the subject of friendship — I was afraid to lose the friendship because I didn’t know if I was going to have it in me to commit to a woman. I knew if I went down this path with her, we loved each other so much as friends, that we would ruin the friendship if it didn’t work out. I was really scared to take the leap of faith, but then eventually it was just undeniable. I was like, ‘Man, I’m going to regret it if I don’t at least try.’ Now, I’m glad I did because it’s working out. I’m getting married!”

Jones also had to come to terms with his sexuality, which he discussed on the panel. The content creator previously dated women before coming out as a gay man. He initially worried about others’ reactions, but learned to let go and let love find him. He is now in a happy relationship with his partner.

“It’s funny because when I first came out I was nervous because I was like, ‘I wonder what women I have dated previously would think of me?’ I wonder how they would respond to me,” Jones said. “And I got things like ‘what a waste of sperm,’ and stuff like that. I think it was tough, but I think at the same time I had to be myself and it had to be paramount.”

Jones went on to gush about his partner, who was in the audience at the Black Love Summit. “This man right here in this beautiful camel jacket needs to know that my intentions are very, very clear,” he said, referencing his boo. When asked what’s on his romantic bucket list, Jones said he hopes that his future wedding will be as fabulous as possible.

“I’m going to manifest a nasty wedding. I’m talking like nasty,” Jones said. “When you go to a wedding and you’re like, ‘I wonder if,’ and then it happens. I want [that] every step. ‘I wonder if’ — it happened. ‘I wonder’ – it happened. You know what I mean? The parting favors are tough. The groomsmen are eating. We are eating. You are eating. Everyone is eating. A nasty bar is open for business for sure. I’m talking the food is like, ‘Wow, I’ve never had wedding food [like this].’ Matter of fact, the aroma in the air [needs to be tough].”

As for Bean, she’s looking to improve in every aspect of her relationship moving forward.

“I made a husband list, but I haven’t thought of my romantic bucket list until now,” the actress said. “I kind of want to parallel it with my life because every year I’m like, ‘God, that was a phenomenal year. There’s no way it could be better.’ And then the next year is better. So I want in my marriage, I’m going to take it day by day, but just let every year get better. Every year be like, ‘Damn, baby 2024 was phenomenal, but 2025, n—a, it gave everything over.’ So I want it to get better each year. Top my priors.”

While dating can feel daunting at times, there is a special love out there for everyone. So when you’re feeling discouraged or that there is no hope for romance, remember the wise words of Black Love Summit moderator Blue Telusma: “I want you to take a look at who’s on this stage right now — every single form of love, gender identity, race, age, social, economic class. We see y’all. Everything’s up here and I want you to recognize that if you see [love], then you can’t ever pretend it doesn’t exist. So maybe aim a little bit higher.”

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