fbpx
My Husband and I Have Been Together for Almost a Decade, And I Still Prioritize My Solo Dates
by Ayana Iman
SHARE ARTICLE
LEFT TO READ

minutes

PUBLISHED ON

January 8, 2024

ARTICLE LENGTH

6 Minute Read

SHARE ARTICLE
CONTRIBUTOR

My Husband and I Have Been Together for Almost a Decade, And I Still Prioritize My Solo Dates

Ayana Iman (Courtesy of Instagram/@ayanaiman)

I’ve been in a relationship for nine years: five years dating and three years married. We’ve gone on countless dates, created memories, and shared many conversations over dinner. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, where our personal and professional commitments often blend into a whirlwind of schedules, the concept of a ‘date night’ has stood as an opportunity for us to rekindle our relationship, exchange stories, and deepen ties. But there’s another equally significant but frequently disregarded activity that merits equal attention: the solo date.

Solo dates, also known as self-dates, involve setting aside time for oneself to engage in activities that bring joy and fulfillment. This practice may seem counterintuitive in the context of a relationship. However, it is evident that going on solo dates can be a rewarding and fulfilling experience. 

BlackLove.com Related Articles:
Making Our Love Last Beyond ‘I Do’

Table for One: My Self-Love Date to Tabitha Brown’s Restaurant

How to Date Yourself

Whether it’s exploring a new hobby, indulging in a favorite pastime, or simply enjoying some quiet solitude, solo dates offer a unique opportunity for self-discovery and self-care. They can provide a much-needed break from the demands of daily life and allow individuals to reconnect with themselves on a deeper level. By embracing solitude and the freedom to do as one pleases, solo dates can be a powerful tool for personal growth and self-reflection.

As a wife, mother, and certified life coach who values self-care and personal growth, I understand the transformative power of solo dates. Here are seven ways solo dates can transform your life.

The Art of Self-Discovery and Appreciation

Solo dates are an art of self-discovery. They offer the freedom to indulge in activities that you love without the need to accommodate another person’s likes or dislikes. This self-directed adventure is a journey into understanding your own preferences, hobbies, and passions. It could be as simple as sitting in a café with a book you’ve been meaning to read, or as adventurous as a solo trip to a city you’ve never visited. In these moments, you learn more about yourself, your interests, and your independence.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Ayana I Gibbs-Okoya (@ayanaiman)

The Importance of Personal Space in Relationships

While quality time together strengthens a relationship, personal space is equally vital. Solo dates allow individuals in a relationship to enjoy their own company and maintain their sense of self. This practice can help prevent the loss of individuality that sometimes occurs in close relationships. By enjoying your own company, you bring a more rounded, fulfilled self to your partnership.

Mental Health and Stress Relief

In a world where mental health is becoming increasingly important, solo dates offer a unique form of stress relief. The solitude allows you to decompress, to step away from the pressures of daily life, and to just be with yourself. It’s a time for introspection, meditation, and relaxation. This self-care is crucial to maintaining mental and emotional well-being.

Fostering Independence and Confidence

Solo dates are an exercise in independence and confidence. They push you out of your comfort zone, especially if you’re not used to spending time alone in public spaces. Over time, these experiences build confidence in your ability to enjoy and manage life on your own terms. This self-reliance is empowering, and it’s a trait that translates positively into all aspects of life.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Ayana I Gibbs-Okoya (@ayanaiman)

Reflection and Goal-Setting

Alone time is a great opportunity for reflection and goal-setting. Away from the distractions of daily life, you can focus on your thoughts, aspirations, and goals. Whether it’s contemplating career moves, personal growth, or just contemplating life, solo dates provide the perfect setting for thoughtful consideration of your future.

Enhancing Creativity and Problem-Solving

Solitude is often linked with increased creativity. A solo date could involve a creative pursuit like painting, writing, or simply brainstorming new ideas. The quiet and focused time alone can lead to breakthroughs in problem-solving and creativity, as your mind is free to wander without interruption.

Appreciation for Relationships

Ironically, spending time alone can increase your appreciation for the people in your life. It provides perspective and helps you value the time you spend with others more deeply. When you return from your solo time, you often find a renewed appreciation for your partner, friends, and family.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Ayana I Gibbs-Okoya (@ayanaiman)

While date nights are crucial for nurturing relationships, solo dates are equally important for personal growth and self-care. They provide a sanctuary for rest, self-discovery, and independence, reinforcing the importance of loving ourselves as much as we love others. As you plan your next date night, remember to schedule a solo date too; your soul will thank you for it.

JOIN THE CONVERSATION