The Black Love Guide to Love, Sex and Intimacy
by Black Love Team
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June 9, 2022

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The Black Love Guide to Love, Sex and Intimacy

Today is National Sex Day! To celebrate, we’re revisiting some of our favorite Sex, Love, and Intimacy stories that cover all the things— from communicating with your partner about sex, to sex after trauma, making sex more fulfilling and more!

Tantric Sex Could Help You Have the Best Sex of Your Life

Tantric sex. You’ve heard of it, maybe even thought about exploring it deeper, but never had a chance to do so. To most, it’s an enigma — something mysterious or difficult to understand. In Sanskrit, the word tantra means woven together. Now, I had even more questions. We spoke with Maisha Khalfani of the Black Tantra Group (BTG), who shared more about the practice and how to have the best sex of your life. 

Couple
Courtesy of pexels.com

Been Married For Years and Hit a Sexual Plateau? Consider These Tips

Imagine waking up to your partner of several years and realizing you don’t enjoy having sex with them anymore. Let’s be honest, being with a partner day in and day out can get a little blah. By now, they have already shown you their best moves, the excitement has faded, their morning breath is more “morniner,” and they fart in their sleep. As a result, the two of you are now walking embodiments of B.B. King’s “The Thrill Is Gone.” But the good news is you’re not alone. Losing sexual desire for your mate isn’t uncommon, according to a study done by 2Date4Love, only 48% of women desired regular sex from their mate after four years of marriage. No one wants a sexless marriage; it just sorta happens over time. There are a multitude of reasons as to why women desire less sex throughout the duration of a marriage, but we are not here to talk about that. We are here to talk about how you can be in the 52%.  

Couple kissing on couch (Courtesy of @carmen.bridgewater)
Courtesy of @carmen.bridgewater

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This Sexuality Doula Wants You to Stop Saying Yes to Sex Your Body is Saying No To

Sexuality doula, sex educator, and sensualist Ev’Yan Whitney, shares daily online about sexual liberation defined on your own terms. But a little over a decade ago, she was much like the clients she’s helped, on a journey to discovering her sexuality while processing an immense amount of sexual shame (in part from her religious upbringing where at eight years old, she was asked to sign a purity contract.) There’s a lot of fear, shame, and baggage around sexuality so I did what most people do, went to the book store to see what books I could find. Unfortunately, the books were not only not helpful but they weren’t written by Black folks. I didn’t see myself mirrored in these books and the sexual issues that they were discussing didn’t resonate with me. No one was driving deep into the nuances of sexual shame.

Ev’Yan Whitney
Ev’Yan Whitney

10 Black Women Who Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life

The stigma surrounding female sexuality is still very much alive and well — especially for Black women. When it comes to sexuality and pleasure, historically we are left out of the conversation altogether. Luckily there are 10 amazing Black women below who are changing the narrative. These women’s life’s work is to empower other Black women to embrace their sexuality without bias and judgment. 

Courtesy of @skychocolatebae/@ericprochnow
Courtesy of @skychocolatebae/@ericprochnow

Here’s What You Need to Know About “Squirting”

One of the biggest urban legends in the history of sex is the concept of “squirting.” This has sparked some of the most consistent inquiries such as: Is it real? Can every women squirt? Is it pee? The list of questions is endless. When it comes to squirting people tend to fall into one of several categories; those who’ve experienced it, seen it in porn, or simply heard about it. In fact, according to data collected by Pornhub, from 2010 to 2017 searches for “women squirting” drastically increased. Which means you’re definitely not alone in your curiosity about squirting.

Woman laying on the floor (Photo courtesy of rawpixel.com)
Courtesy of rawpixel.com

How to Introduce Your Partner to Kink

Introducing kink to your partner can feel extremely intimidating. Sometimes it doesn’t matter if you’ve been interested in kink for a while or trying to add some spark to your sex life — figuring out the best way to live out your “Fifty Shades of Grey” fantasies with a partner can be scary and awkward. Fear and discomfort around kink typically stems from misunderstanding what kink is, and learning together can be an amazing experience!

Couple under sheets (Courtesy of @tenesiaandterence)
Courtesy of @tenesiaandterence

Couples Who Talk About Sex Have Better Sex

It’s been proven that people who talk about their sex lives tend to have better sex lives. Good sex depends on good communication. As simple as that sounds, a lot of couples struggle to find the right words to express themselves without sounding critical or feeling embarrassed. In fact, it used to be easier for me to have the sex talk with my “girls” rather than my partner. I used to worry about how my partner would react. If they would be able to handle it? Would their feelings be hurt? As valid as these concerns were, I quickly learned that by not talking about sex I was doing myself and my partner a huge disservice. Communicating my sexual desires, needs and wants enhanced my relationship and my sex.

Courtesy of @chichiarilove
Courtesy of @chichiarilove

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