His and Hers: One Married Couple’s Top 5 Takeaways From the 2018 Black Love Summit

Hello! We are The Whites of L.A. — built up of Aaron and Viergeni White and our beautiful daughter, Claile, who joined our tribe three-and-a-half years ago. Ten-and-a-half years ago we met on Myspace. One year after that first message — we were married! If we had to label our journey so far, the title would be “a gangsta rollercoaster” — full of ups, downs, twist and turns, thrills and chills, but ride-or-die loyalty and love nonetheless.  Our goal in the future is to have a compound where we grow our own food and are surrounded by family and friends. We got a little taste of that goal when, on October 7th, we had the honor and privilege of being in the village that was the 2018 Black Love Summit. Here are our takeaways that we will be etching into the fabric of our tribe.

Viergeni’s Top 5 Moments

1) The environment— being surrounded by Black couples who were intentional about making marriage work. It’s just not an everyday thing, and I couldn’t take it for granted. The event exuded Black excellence. Can this be my life every day.

2) The Wives Panel with Ryan Michelle Bathe, Khadeen Ellis, Aonika Thomas, and Ashley Chea, moderated by Vanessa Spencer, convicted me. Relinquishing control and accepting that my husband doesn’t share the same methods is something I’m taking into my household.

3) Being out, childless, and fly with my husband felt soooo good. For a moment there, we had a glimpse of who we were before all the responsibility. It was nice to just be sexy and free yet simultaneously working on our marriage. It made me love him more.

5) Niecy Nash said something that will be etched into the fabric of my being a wife: “Loving Black men is a unique thing in this society where someone is always trying to put a foot on their neck.” I felt very privileged to married to one, and I intend to walk out loving my Black king.

Aaron’s Top 5 Moments

1) When Tommy mentioned to someone in attendance that “this is a no judgement zone,” I knew from the jump that this atmosphere was a safe place for transparency.

2) The Husbands Panel with Lance Gross, Chris Spencer, Devale Ellis, and Robbie Jones, moderated by Tommy Oliver, left me with a notebook full of powerful information to use in my marriage.

3) The outdoor luncheon, complete with open bar, created an atmosphere that made it easy to get to know people.

5) The Rooftop Happy Hour at the end topped the night off and made for a great couple’s photo op.

We left loaded up with information to keep our marriage sexy, new, transparent, in line, financially set and adventurous.

The whole summit was lit — great food, open bar, authentic guest speakers, a happy hour, and a wealth of wisdom. We can’t wait to attend the next one and bring through our tribe of couples, so that we can all keep our village, and our marriage, strong.